Friday, March 23, 2012

being held.....

Ok, God had been reminding me of something over and over again.  It is funny how "I think" things should be or how I want this to be fixed or how 'that' would make this better and so forth, and each time, GOD always has a better thing, or a better response, or a better outcome --- when we wait on HIM. 
I have already said this before, but this am, HE spoke to me about the word ...held......
Natalie Grant wrote this song called "Held" after a friend of hers lost a baby.  IT has circled the Christian Radio charts and I believe I have purchased her CD 2-3 times and given it to people when they have experienced the death of a is comforting to know that God does HOLD us...we are being HELD.

But, today HE reminded me of something else.  Like I said....I have this picture or expectation and God just floors me - tremendously. 

First of all, I did a little research on the word held..or hold.... The Dictionary says,  1.  to have or keep in the hand, keep fast, grasp.  2.  to set aside, to reserve or retain -- like to hold a reservation.  3.  to bear, sustain, or support as with hands or arms or by any other means.  4.  to keep them in a specified state, 'the preacher held them spellbound'. and 5.  to detain, the police held him at the station for questions. 

Held.....then I looked up some more info...The noun held means an act of a verb, it means to remain in or continue being held.....Did you know there is also definitions for ...
hold back....
hold down....
hold forth....
hold in.....
hold off....
get ahold of .....
hold one's own.....

Then 2 verses were found:  
   2 Thessalonians 2.15    So then brothers, stand firm and hold to the teachings we passed on to you, whether by word of mouth or by letter.

   1 Titus 1.9
  He must hold firmly to the trustworthy message as it has been taught, so that he can encourage others by sound doctrine and refute those who oppose it.

Then I found this:   the word HOLD with a capital "h" is found in 11 verses in our bible, 9 chapters, and 9 books.....that version is more of the noun hold....

I wanted to write down each verse, I will site a few of my favorite:

Judges 18.19     Nehemiah  8.11     Job   13.13
Psalms 17.5   Hold up my goings in thy paths, that my footsteps slip not.
Psm  109. 1    Amos  6.10    Zephaniah 1.7
Mark 1.25     Luke 4.35       2Tim 1.13
Psalm 119.117   Hold thou  me up, and I will be safe; and I will have respect unto thy statutes continually.

I stopped and pondered why those two verses really STUCK in me....I remember many times in my life when I would beg God to hold up my goings in thy path....and just HOLD me....up....

And in Psm. 119....hold thou me up...JUST HOLD ME many  times I begged and pleaded that on my behalf. 

How about you...are you begging God to hold you up?  IF you are, let us stop right now:
Lord, for my sweet sister or for whomever is reading this.....they or she or he needs you ...hold them...hold them up.  Amen. 

Then I came across this.  The word HOLD with a capital H is there 11 times and the word hold with a lower case 'h' in 167 verses...167 verses....49 chapters....35 books...I was astonded. 

I did not write down each verse but a few that spoke volumes to me.

One of my life verses:  Exodus 14.14    The Lord shall fight for you, and ye shall hold your peace.
Psalm 139.10    Even there shall thy hand lead me, and thy right hand shall hold me.
Proverbs 3.18  She is a tree of life to them that lay hold upon her and happy is every one that retaineth her.
Proverbs 4.13  Take fast hold of instruction, let her not go, keep her, for she is thy life.
Isaiah 41.13  For I the Lord thy God will hold thy right hand, saying unto thee, fear not, I will help thee.

That last verse...spoke life into me many times over the past few years.   I don't wish to bring up the past, but I have to share this one story...of HOW this verse spoke life back into me.    It was about a month after I had some discouraging news and my husband and I were separated.  Our son was headed to Lousiana for a soccer tournament and my husband was very kind and did not expect to travel with us, as he knew our time together was hard, very hard but after prayer, I knew he deserved to be able to attend and enjoy the soccer.  It had been a planned trip and Taylor was traveling with us.  Arrangements were made and our time together was difficult but ok.  WE spent a week together as a family and enjoy Hunter' team and their wins and their heartbreak loss on the last day.  The in between times were VERY hard, as sometimes I could only smile for so long and pretend for so long that all was well.  Each evening we would pick a restaurant and sit as a family  and each of us did a good job with keeping conversations 'right'.  Anyway, like I said, at times, it would just get too hard to bear and I would excuse myself and head to the ladies room.  At which I would get sick, either lose my lunch or supper or just spit up dry heaves and then look at myself in the mirror and hold my hand up in front of it and recite this verse.  Sometimes I would cry it out, sometimes I had to be very discrete, but I had to remind myself over and over that HE was holding my hand.  HE was going to get me through this and HE would make all things new.  HE did.  I would be able to wipe my tears, recompose myself and head back to the supper or dinner table and smile and just be thankful for the four of us - enjoying time together.  It was a difficult week.  The kids and I shared a King sized bed and Brendan slept on the floor.  Many nights were spent in prayer as I could not sleep between two kids that literally tossed and turned as they slept and I would hold my arm up in front of my eyes and focus on my hand and recite that verse...and imagine that God was RIGHT there...holding me and being my RIGHT was a verse I came to paraphase and repeat often....To this day, I wear a bracelet on my right hand, and I don't like jewelry...and it reminds me of the fact that HE continues to hold my right hand.  HE continues to guide and HE is holding me. 

Now, bear in mind...that may leave a sad taste in your mind about my husband ..but don't let it.  I want to tell you that for the past year....well, maybe at least the past 7-8 months, I fall asleep each night in his arms...he holds me very tight and waits for me to wiggle out of his grip.  When I awake in the am, he must awake too as he will turn over and quickly grab me and hold me tight.  This am, that happened again.  And I could hear God remind me...'see....I continue to hold you...through him'....Brendan can be the person on earth that can show you physical love and hold you and remind you that YOU are deeply loved by the Father. 

I believe that.  That brought more healing to me today.  That made me smile....

The Enemy must of heard me speaking outloud today as I was conversing with God, and he must of decided to try his best to whisper a lie again.  He tired.  He failed.  I won't go into that story, but I knew...especially when I came across the LAST verse that was listed of the 167 is as follows: 

Revelation 20.2
And he laid hold on the dragon, that old serpent, which is the Devil, and Satan, and bound him a thousand years.

Yep...God wins.  Period. 

I believe that is all God wants me to share and say...but I will end with this,  if you read this today and you are in a hurting spot or you need to be reminded that God is holding you ...cause perhaps there isn't a husband right there holding you....count on the fact that HE is.  Count on the fact that HE can...Count on the fact that HE wants you more than ever...and that HIS love is the best.  The best.

Lord, I thank you so much, for holding me.
PS...don't let him stop....I still need it - daily...even though I know YOU can hold me without being here...and I know I am so loved without him holding me...I am just feels so so so good. 


I love  him Lord, but I know that I know, I love you more...there is a proper order now - amen. 
- michelle

1 comment:

  1. You've got it girl. FAITH,OBEDIENCE,and TRUST. You have those three, and He will always HOLD you up as He never changes. You are very blessed! Thanks for sharing! JoAnn


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