Dear Daddy... a daughter's letter that changed a family.

Today is Thanksgiving.  

I have scrolled through Facebook several times, made a cheese cake and then took several messages from family in Wisconsin.  My daughter is getting her 'bake on' and getting ready to enjoy the day with her boy that is a friend...LOL.  My son is sound asleep as he had a late night with his pals all home for Thanksgiving and then he will spend the day with his 'girl that is a friend'...and I am enjoying the Macy's Day Thanksgiving Day parade.  Later, we will travel to some new friends and enjoy some fellowship  and great food.  

 As a child...this was always the HIGHLIGHT of the day  ( the parade ) and then to Grandma's.  For many years, we would shuffle between two Grandma's and then as we got older, it steamed into one big celebration that had to be housed at a 'hall' as the family got too big.    It was not picture perfect and there were many Thanksgiving mornings where I was in tears as a young TWEEN...mad cause I was in the barn and /or pitching manure but this post is NOT about me.  

No childhood is perfect.  My parents did not wake up and  sit and drink coffee as they watched the parade.  Many times, there as a MAD dash and scramble to find socks that matched and then the smell of whatever my mom baking   to take to the Thanksgiving meal would start to burn and yelling occured.....but...for the most part - it was good.   And...the chores had to be done - cows did not milk themselves.   

Even though, if I could look back and watch EACH year....I bet I could see God's grace and mercy and find something within the day ...to be thankful for.    But as a child...I do remember several 'sad' Thanksgiving mornings that did not go as I expected.  

And then, as an adult....as we raised our children - I had the authority to invite and plan Thanksgiving dinner so that I could sit and drink my  hot cider and enjoy the parade.  However, even as an adult....there came a time when the idea of being with family and celebrating the holiday - hurt ...as  we were broken for a time.   But today....

I am VERY thankful today.  

I have  my mug of apple cider near this computer....My man is running some errands, the kids are accounted for and I know my family is getting together in Wisconsin at various homes and my family here is busy too....grateful.   My heart is full and happy.  But...

But....  I found this letter/devotional today and it stopped me -- quickened my spirit and took me back to several childhood times...back to one particular year just four years ago...and it took me to a new spot.  As I know one family even today .....that is being torn apart - even as we speak.    Satan is a liar and he constantly convinces those that will listen....that it 'just may be better' with another.  OH I HATE him.  

Anyway..... I pray.  Daily.   When I awoke this am, I prayed for another sister in Christ - one that has seen MUCH heartache and trials...and one that is desperately trying to place her family in that Book of LIFE...with HIS help.  She longs to sit with her husband in church and worship with him and her kids.   She has been through much already - even the death of a child -- but I know that I know...God did not bring her across our path.. or my life for nothing.  

I believe GOD is alive and LARGE and I believe that HE - God- is the master chess master  and even with this recent wrinkle within her life....God can and will win.  So, with that...I prayed boldly this am and I am going to stand in the gap for as long as God has me and encourage her to believe that ....her husband will ....see and open his eyes.  Period.  

Ok -- so with that....I found this devotional written by Gary Smalley and  John Trent.  It is a letter that a young teen wrote to her dad.  It touched me so.  

I have already said too much -- read this letter and be blessed and believe....that God will win.  

Amen.  

If this letter touches you -- seek Crosswalk.com and sign up for James Dobson's Couples Devotionals as this week he is going to be looking at 'divorce'....is this the solution you believe should happen next?  

I knew, God told me in my most darkest moment that HE would fight for me and that HE wanted me to extend grace and mercy - I am so glad I listened to God as I am so very thankful that I am not divorced and that my Grandchildren will be with us as we celebrate our 50th wedding anniversary...in um...  23 years!   Or maybe our 40th...I don't want to 'wish' on any grandkids to my kids until...years from now.  LOL!  

Dear Daddy

by Gary Smalley and John Trent
Largely unused in marriages, homes, friendships, and businesses is a tool called emotional word pictures that can supercharge communication and change lives. This concept is as old as ancient kings but so timeless that it has been used throughout the ages in every society. It has the capacity to capture people’s attention by simultaneously engaging their thoughts and feelings. Along with its ability to move us to deeper levels of intimacy, it has the staying power to make a lasting impression.
When faced with the breakup of her parents’ marriage, a hurting teenager named Kimberly used the following word picture in this letter to her father:

Dear Daddy, It’s late at night, and I’m sitting in the middle of my bed writing to you. I’ve wanted to talk with you so many times during the past few weeks. But there never seems to be any time when we’re alone.

Dad, I realize you’re dating someone else. And I know you and Mom may never get back together. That’s terribly hard to accept—especially knowing that you may never come back home or be an “everyday” dad to me and Brian again. But I want you at least to understand what’s going on in our lives.

Don’t think that Mom asked me to write this. She didn’t. She doesn’t know I’m writing, and neither does Brian. I just want to share with you what I’ve been thinking.

Dad, I feel like our family has been riding in a nice car for a long time. You know, the kind you always like to have as a company car. It’s the kind that has every extra inside and not a scratch on the outside.
But over the years, the car has developed some problems. It’s smoking a lot, the wheels wobble, and the seat covers are ripped. The car’s been really hard to drive or ride in because of all the shaking and squeaking. But it’s still a great automobile—or at least it could be. With a little work, I know it could run for years.
Since we got the car, Brian and I have been in the backseat while you and Mom have been up front. We feel really secure with you driving and Mom beside you. But last month, Mom was at the wheel.

It was nighttime, and we had just turned the corner near our house. Suddenly, we all looked up and saw another car, out of control, heading straight for us. Mom tried to swerve out of the way, but the other car smashed into us. The impact sent us flying off the road and crashing into a lamppost.

The thing is, Dad, just before we were hit, we could see that you were driving the other car. And we saw something else: Sitting next to you was another woman.
It was such a terrible accident that we were all rushed to the emergency ward. But when we asked where you were, no one knew. We’re still not really sure where you are or if you were hurt or if you need help.
Mom was really hurt. She was thrown into the steering wheel and broke several ribs. One of them punctured her lungs and almost pierced her heart.

When the car wrecked, the back door smashed into Brian. He was covered with cuts from the broken glass, and he shattered his arm, which is now in a cast. But that’s not the worst. He’s still in so much pain and shock that he doesn’t want to talk or play with anyone.
As for me, I was thrown from the car. I was stuck out in the cold for a long time with my right leg broken. As I lay there, I couldn’t move and didn’t know what was wrong with Mom and Brian. I was hurting so much myself that I couldn’t help them.

There have been times since that night when I wondered if any of us would make it. Even though we’re getting a little better, we’re all still in the hospital. The doctors say I’ll need a lot of therapy on my leg, and I know they can help me get better. But I wish it were you who was helping me, instead of them.
The pain is so bad, but what’s even worse is that we all miss you so much. Every day we wait to see if you’re going to visit us in the hospital, and every day you don’t come. I know it’s over. But my heart would explode with joy if somehow I could look up and see you walk into my room.

At night when the hospital is really quiet, they push Brian and me into Mom’s room, and we all talk about you. We talk about how much we loved driving with you and how we wish you were with us now.
Are you all right? Are you hurting from the wreck? Do you need us like we need you? If you need me, I’m here and I love you.

Your daughter, Kimberly

LOOKING AHEAD …
More than two months before writing this letter, Kimberly had watched her father, Steve, walk out of his family’s life with plans to divorce his wife and pursue a relationship with another woman. The heartache that Kimberly, her mother, and her brother felt was indescribable. But the anguish also extended to Steve. Only a few weeks after leaving, he began to second‐guess his decision.
That’s the impact of divorce. It appears to be a solution when in fact it brings only pain and new difficulties. A few days after receiving Kimberly’s letter, Steve appeared on his family’s doorstep and asked to come back. He realized that divorce wasn’t the answer to his family’s problems.

Would you ever consider it an answer to yours?
Has your marriage ever been on the brink of breaking up?

- James C Dobson