Sex

This original  blog post was posted almost 2 years ago ......it had over 286 'hit's or reads.   I guess SEX sells.  I was pretty personal in that blog, about our struggles when we sought out some professional counsel and such.  However, I knew, I needed to  delete some of the post for today's blog  update...cause, I believe some of the info just needs to stay in the past. 

 But --  some of it needs to be reposted.  

There is a new show on Bravo or Lifetime...it is "Donnie loves Jenny".  I admit - Jenny McCarthy is beautiful - I love her hair, her frankness, and she is funny.  On HD TV...her face has wrinkles and bumps -- but she is real.   And she is pretty crass..... and well, she probably needs Jesus -  -  - 

Tonight the show centered around  her husband ( former BackStreet boy ) Donnie Walburger and his need to seek a colonoscopy.  Brendan could not handle it - the jokes and such about the procedure kind of grossed him out.    I found that funny, cause if you are around us for any extended time, you may  get a 'poop' story or there is some reference to something that may be funny to us but not funny to most...  But anyway . . . 

Brendan made the comment, "gee, anything to boost ratings - isn't it sweeps month?".  

And I said, "yes... February is sweeps month".  Then the commercial for next week is "sex".  And it is February next week. . . sex sells.  

Which brings me back to this blog post.  

Here is the updated parts.  

Sex is a thermometer in a marriage.  God created the act and the pleasure that comes with that act.

And I will be blunt - if it is not good -- then see a doctor and do what needs to be done -- to make it good again - seriously ......God did not create 'OK'.....HE created 'FANTASTIC!'........  Just saying...

Women's attention goes to kids, finances, emotional stress, sickness,  and strife - we are constantly juggling.  A week can pass...a month...even months and a woman can be  pretty much 'ok'.  Then when a disaster hits -- she seems to be surprised.   Woman have sex out of affection.  So why have sex with a man that is not being affectionate -- or making you angry, disappointed, overworked,  or unsupported.  For the men - sex is a pure need.   Everything gets clouded if that need is not met -- but I also believe that those roles can be reversed.  Why wouldn't the enemy use sex to steal, kill, and destroy and break up a home - a family......THAT is what he does ---

We went to a sexologist/family crisis therapist.  She is wonderful and she loves God and is pro - marriage, but she was also very realistic and forthright -there were many sessions where I did not like her - at all!     It is tough, opening your heart and baring your hurts to another -- believing that maybe perhaps she can give some insight and yet, many times she just opened new areas of conversation and perspectives.  But, she taught us some very good tools to communicate better - and speak to each other with respect.  

There is a book called Love and Respect that is VERY good -- and it talks about the 'crazy cycle'.  There is a book called "Everyman's battle"  and there is an "Every woman's battle"...and then there is a book by DAve Carder called "torn asunder"  --- all EXCELLENT resources for a Christian man or woman trying to seek some help and counsel when a marriage is in trouble.  But I would seek YOUR own Pastor and his wife -- ASAP for guidance and direction!

 Anyway -- back to the 'sex'....

If you and your husband are not having sex.....there is something wrong -- period.  

End of story.

It is what it is.  I am just saying.   Unless you have both decided to abstain for a time - for prayer and fasting on some matter --  God's word says,  "do not deprive one another except with the consent for a time, that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer: and come together again so that Satan does not temp you because of your lack of self-control"  ( 1 Corinthians 7: 4-5)  

 Sex between a man and a woman is God's idea -- HIS idea....Sometimes, we really can't keep doing the SAME stuff all the time.  I mean, the definition of insanity is 'doing the same thing over and getting the same results'.  

People change, it is OK to change.  Becoming ONE flesh is a part of what transpires when we have sex.  .....That bonding...that intimacy...the openness.  No wonder Satan uses it to destroy people and families.    

But anyway -- the month of February is approaching.  The month of LOVE...Valentines Day and  this coming weekend, my husband and I are hosting a Marriage Event at our church.    Unions..... marriages... and all aspects of what God intended for marriage has been running through my mind  - over and over for the past month.  

Again, God created Sex.    

I believe successful marriages understand and value sex. I believe happier couples are active.  I believe God created this to be a good thing -- 

So with that, the follow is a prayer I wrote - if your marriage thermometer is going low ...I strongly suggest you SEEK HIS help and begin today -- to fix it..through Christ. amen.  

Lord God, I pray you will bless the sexuality in the marriage of the one who is reading this, and God I seek great fulfillment for the husband as well as the wife.   Lord, restore what needs to be restored, balance what needs to be balanced.  And Lord, protect it from apathy, disappointment, criticism, busyness, unforgiveness, deadness, or disinterest.  I pray that they make time for one another -- I pray that this couple reading this will make time for each other..... that they communicate their true feelings openly and remain sensitive to what each other needs.
 Lord, that they would keep themselves sexually pure in mind and body and close the door to anything  lustful or illicit that seeks  to encroach upon them.  Deliver them from the bondage of past mistakes, remove from their thoughts the effects of any sexual misconduct in thought or deed that happened outside of the marriage bed or prior to the marriage -- TAKE away anyone or anything that would lead us into temptation or infidelity - and help us to abstain from sexual immorality !!!
--- I pray they will desire each other -- no one else.  Lord, I pray the fire within them would be attended to...fan the flames of a couple that wants to serve you and stir within  the others that are apathetic - a sense of urgency.   And I pray that EACH  person within these marriages would  figure out what needs to be done to be attractive to each other -- Show them both - HOW to be the kind of partner the other needs. God I pray they won't use the 'sex' thing as a tool for manipulation or withhold it for selfish reasons...God I pray that they would seek YOU and be ONE flesh - worshiping you in every act of love.  Amen.
And Lord, if they need to seek a sexologist - Lord, God -- give them the courage - remind them there is NO shame in being honest and seeking help.  God I pray their pride would NOT get in the way - there is NO shame to admit - we are messed up and need help -- then YOU can get the glory.  Lord, I pray that if there is hidden sin - reveal it - NOW in that couple - so that the healing can then begin. Amen.  

Lord, you designed marriage as a  present time lesson  that displays Jesus' love for His bride - us, the church.  Lord, we are created in your image so I thank you for that honor.  Lord, as we seek You - may every action we live out be one that glorifies you.  

Amen.