Wednesday, July 19, 2017

To the Adult Children - A series of Blogs for parents -- Choices - Blog #4

This series of   blogs-   continues.   

This series is being   written for children -- adult children.  This series is not necessarily written for my children and yet it may be. And it is being written for the parents of adult children.  

So with that -- here is the 4th  one. 

Sometimes it is very hard to make a choice.     Chocolate cake or Cheesecake.   If I am at Longhorn Steakhouse - it is the Chocolate Stampede.    If I am at the Cheesecake Factory it would be the cheesecake but then - which ONE? 


God's Word says:  Matthew 7:13-14
"Enter by the narrow gate. For the gate is wide and the way is easy that leads to destruction, and those who enter by it are many. For the gate is narrow and the way is hard that leads to life, and those who find it are few."

As a parent of two grown children it can  become difficult  to watch them make choices that you feel within your innermost being-- are wrong.  And it is difficult to watch them make choices that you would not of made -- whether with good outcomes or just different outcomes.  It can be difficult to see them struggle with finances because of poor choices. 

It can also be difficult when you just want to celebrate or hang with them and they are leading their own lives.  I praise God that our children WANT to hang with us -- mind you, NOT all the time, but we do enjoy our time together.  It is a blessing! 

 I am the oldest of 9 children my mother and father 'had' beginning back in 1966.  There are nine of us.  At times over my past 50 years....some of my siblings have been EASIER to get along with while others rub me the wrong way.  Moving 1400 miles away certainly can help the matter or bring distance -- but early on, I realized as my siblings grew into adults -- I wasn't going to be their BEST friend nor would they seek my advice.  In a way -- I was a parent to them all those years ago so  I had a little practice as my own children grew up and moved out....I couldn't  control nor always make their choices for them.  And, it brought pure pleasure when some of them did seek advice or want my opinion.

Some parents never stop -- they interfere, share their opinions, make decisions and eventually it causes distance, hurt, and maybe even estrangement. 

Proverbs 14.12 saysThere is a way that seems right to a man, but its end is the way to death.

As a parent, this verse speaks volumes -- when we see our children make choices we know are wrong....

Proverbs 19.21 saysMany are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the Lord that will stand. 

Even this verse, being a parent as we watch and wait for our adult children to LEARN the hard way....we pray, we believe, and we show love....

Proverbs 16.9 says:  The heart of  man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps.

Truly, when I read this verse - I pray, Lord, establish his steps...establish her steps... may their steps line up with Your Word! 

Philippians 4.8 says:  Finally brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. 

And finally:   Proverbs 3. 5-6  states:  Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths. 


If your children - young, small, teens, and adults would fully grasp and understand this past verse -- we are parents would be peaceful!   Right?  

I am thinking...sharing some thoughts running in my head today:

It is weird when as a kid, you watched adults around you make choices and then you saw the consequences...and yet, as an adult - you  can fall RIGHT into those same decisions and choices. 

It is hard when you have children and you decide their clothing choices and what they will eat for dinner and then they become adults and you don't have that 'choice' anymore.  They are adults.

It is hard  to watch another within your circle of influence make the wrong choice after you have prayed with them....sat with them...cried with them.....and yet...they still want to make that wrong choice. 
It is hard to sit back and pray for something that seems impossible to fix or it seems impossible to believe that God could bring 'beauty' out of it ....and yet, we are to make that choice, and intercede for that lost one, or for that dear friend, or for even that  'frienemy'.....that seems to constantly sow turmoil within your life.  But yet....  it is a choice. 

In Matthew it does state...'the gate is narrow'.  It is hard, to make the better choice when the ones around you  poke fun of or believe you are being 'too Christian'.  It says the gate is narrow, but why do so many try and squeeze in -- ?? 

God has brought me to this verse:  Galatians 6. 7-8   Do not be deceived:  God is not mocked, for whatever one sows, that will he also reap.  For the one who sows to his own flesh will from the flesh reap corruption, but the one who sows to the Spirit will from the Spirit reap eternal life. 

In the Message bible it states: 
  ( I added a few words to make it personal - from God )
Don't be mislead my one makes a fool of God.  What you plant, you will harvest.  My beloved - if you plant selfishness, and you ignore the needs of others -- you are ignoring God -- and you will harvest a crop of weeks.  Dear son...then all you will have to show for yourself is weeds.  But sweet girl... if you plant in response to God, letting God's Spirit do the growth work in that....  you will harvest a crop of REAL life... eternal life with Me.    The gate is narrow my children, don't lean  on your own understanding, You acknowledge your ways in Me all the time, so now LEAN on Me and I will make the path straight!  - God  
I am choosing this photo as it popped up on my timeline - it took choices for these boys to become champions -- may our children may the choices to be champions for GOD!! 


Lord,  first of all for my own grown children who make choices now that so please me and there are a few that frustrate me.....but give me the knowledge to love them through it anyway.   To be there as MOM when I am needed but also to give them the space to SEEK You and find you in the middle of it.  Lord,  I include my son in love in this -- as I truly have adopted him as mine, I pray his choices will continue to line up with Your Word and be pleasing not only to you, but as their marriage grows and continues, I pray it will be a beacon of light to the young marrieds around them. 

 Lord, I pray for the parents reading this, that have wayward children and children that have brought much heartache and pain to their hearts....God, intervene as ONLY You can, bring whomever across their paths to speak truth and allow the parents of these lost children to feel your comfort as they continue to claim Your promises over them. 

 Lord, for the parents who are just experiencing the empty next and this wonderful season of adult children -- may it grow them and may they seek You for each new experience, may they be parents of adult children who continue to love and serve you.  I seek especially for the parents  of college aged ones and the ones who are just now entering that college life -- hold their hearts Lord and help them be supportive, speak truth in love, and help them to see and understand how their prayers in scripture will not return void.  That even though the 'adult' may be making some very stupid choices....that you will give those parents peace -- that child will come back around. 

Lord, use these blogs for YOUR purpose -- may we all make choices that please  You.  IN Jesus Name, Amen

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