Thursday, April 16, 2020

So the reality is, the marriage is broken, BUT God - the Vow RENEWAL - Part VIII




I am not a psychologist or a life coach.  I am just a woman, who loves God, seeks the power of the Holy Spirit, and knows Jesus as her best friend.  I have lived a little bit.  Life's experiences have certainly  been played out and I am pretty sure God is not finished with me yet, but I am going to attempt to share a couple of blogs that I pray God will use to help foster some hope and to encourage a wife who is hurting and broken that God is fighting for her and God will win!   
This was anniversary #25! 


THE above,  is the text or backstory   at the beginning of a series of blogs I wrote back in 2017. 
 I wrote 7 blogs.  God's perfect number is 7. 
 But then... Today, HE 'released' me to share Part 8.   This series was written to be shared with a wife or mother needing some answers quick when faced with a crisis and an earthquake hits.  

Renewal.   Vow Renewal.   Eight is the number of renewal.  

It has been over 3 years since I wrote Parts 1-7. 
 It has been almost 11 years when the  earthquake shattered what I knew existed as  my perfect life and family, but God won.  

My blogging has been a bit -- skimpy-- and limited in the past 2 years.  I believe in the past month or two, the Lord has been awakening the pen again and maybe HE has kept me quiet for such a long time, because of today.     Maybe He needed to give me a rest.  Maybe some readers needed to see a rest in me.  Maybe there was a long rest so that the right person would  read this.  

 I am unsure of the WHY I write these blogs at times.  For the longest time, it was my therapy.  I needed an outlet.  Then, as Holy Spirit  spoke and wrote, God indeed showed me that HE uses these words of His and my experiences to give another hope and direction.

  At a time when I NEEDED answers, God led me to a few blogs and HE spoke to me and counseled me through some rough times. And,  this eve -- I do believe He has me writing-- to give HIM glory, as another needs to realize that God wins.  

God knows. 

  Part 7 is good.  It is posted here , link below.  But this eve -- Part 8 has to be shared.  


Part VII


So, if you read Part 7 and it is fresh in your memory, I shared what redemption looked like in our home and what it felt like through my words.  

I wrote this series to help guide a wife /mother through the journey I walked,  as God revealed and then grew us both,  and healed us.  I truly believe that often, we don't FIGHT for our marriages. 

 Since our crisis of faith, we have had the God given pleasure to pray with couples and encourage them. We have also sat across from some,  with tears in our eyes, as we could see WHAT God could do....but the ones on the other side of the table -- didn't want to work at what we thought GOD wanted.   But -- as we prayed, we trusted  GOD.  

We know countless people prayed for us over  that hard time and for  our marriage, but  what  finally hit or what was the spark that made us both come back to see ----that Jesus was not Lord of our lives????   That can be read through the lines of those blogs in Parts 1-6!    That was the God allowed earthquake.  

Today -- again, Redemption.  Vow renewal.  

I have mentioned this in the blog before, but on the night, when  all  hell broke loose - I had a dream. A vision.  Over the years - I have 'adjusted'  the WHOM,  that I believe were in this dream.  For many years, I knew it was so and so and so and so --  and then, seasons changed and I would admit - "well, Lord, you are correct, I never saw their faces, I just saw people".  And so, over the  past, almost 11 years, I have indeed fixed my eyes on that vision and believed it was  this person or that. 

 Bottom line, the Lord revealed or reminded me over the past two weeks,  in that vision,  was my husband and I  and we were renewing our vows.  Our children were there.  And there were 3-4 others.  I can see them.  Some times, I can clearly see one couple leading us in our vows, another time, I can clearly see we are in a circle, all happy, but my children ARE there -- today, I felt the Holy Spirit remind me -- the point of the vision was that HE gave me something to HOLD onto....to hold on and believe in when it seemed NO hope for my family to stick together and for our marriage to remain.
  But God.  

I have been praying the past month for a special interview that transpired today.  And in praying that I would give ALL Glory to God -- and empty myself of me...  God showed me MUCH more.  

Last November, I was gifted with something.  Taylor ( my daughter ) was contacted by  a special couple  who wanted to gift me with   "The Blessing"-- portrait.   This  "Blessing" was something we were doing in a limited way already.  I am a wordy person -- a words of affirmation person, so my husband and I have always tried our best to affirm our kids and use positive words -- no yelling in our home. We spent much time, making sure our kids knew their good characteristics.  Even when we wanted to smack them.  

  Anyway - going  back  a few years  -  to me seeing a blog on the Footstone Photography site and my heart lept. Immediately  I knew, what Kristin blogged about - was for US.  

  I read Kristin's blogs and  I knew that I knew - this was a GOOD  God thing. I believed and could see WHAT God was going to do.  This would be profound.    I began to share with Taylor about 'doing' this in a  similar fashion for our- now-- grand kids.   So we began, to speak a blessing over the grands.  Our first one,  was for Ava when she was 2, and then 3, and recently at her 4th birthday.  What I saw transpire through her as we did these Blessings -- HOW  remarkable.   We incorporated it into a few birthdays for some of  the adults in our family  as well and again - HOW remarkable.   That indeed is another blog - but WOW.  

So, when Taylor stated that Kristin and Paul felt the Holy Spirit connected us,  and they wanted to come and gift me with  a "Blessing  portrait " -- little did I know what God had planned.   What God had orchestrated from the beginning.  Whoa.  

Paul's video about The Blessing

Talk about being undone. 
  In part of my gift, Paul created a video for me.  A few of the snapshots are here in this blog.  The video  Paul created for me - is  a treasure and  I get to remind myself of HOW Good our God is - daily. 






They are making me an album, which I will treasure.  If you go to their web  site and look around and see  what   this Blessing  is -- and what it has done for others.  Whoa! You will be curious and I know God will speak to you as well, especially if you have grandchildren.  

   I encourage you to watch the video link I added in this blog of Paul speaking about "The Blessing".   ( link above)  What a legacy his parents created when they began this "Blessing" in their homes when their children were young.   What a legacy to see this good tradition continue.  Oh the sweetness his parents must see - through this -- legacy.  

  Back to that SHIFT I mentioned.  
Something happened back in November when they came to do the photographs --  there was a shift.  

God did more holy surgery in my head, heart, and there was more healing.  

 Prior to the photo shoot, Kristin had interviewed Brendan, Taylor, Hunter and my Son in law - Jake.  As she had me sit in a chair -- She read the words from their interviews.  Words of affirmation over me.  And her husband, snapped away and captured the photos - all the ugly tears and all. 

  My kids were first.  Last was BP  - or Brendan.  I have  always teased  that we were to have our VOW renewal ...at our 30th .. and then it got pushed to our 35th anniversary.  It was something that we agreed upon when counsel was done....but it seemed to be pushed off.

I wanted it.   
But I prayed and  I felt - like Mary, and "pondered" it in my heart.  I knew the vision and knew that if I waited on God -- it would be in HIS timing.  

As Brendan was the last one to hold my hand and look into my eyes, Kristin read the words -- indeed -- they were like vows. I will treasure the photos that Paul caught.  He also caught me cracking up - as if you know my husband, he can't be serious for more than a few moments.  But ...this time...he was serious enough.   

 I was undone and as I said- something shifted. 

 From that point on -- I knew - THAT was my vow renewal.  It was in front of 2 witnesses - our photographers - Kristin and Paul....  This Blessing....but it was mostly in front of my children.  Really the ONLY people I felt needed to hear those affirmations.  God won.  

 Whoa -- wow. 

My identity comes from Christ - through Christ, but through this experience, my God used my husband to rebuild  my heart.  

I want that for my granddaughters. 
I want that for my daughter, my nieces, my son ... 
 I want that for my dear warrior pals praying for their marriage and their miracle. 
 I want that for those still fighting through - believing that God will CHANGE their man. 
I want that for a wife who has been dealing with a jerk of a husband for years and I want her to see her value that she is praying him to Christ.  

 I want that -- for others. 

 Indeed, the words spoken that were connected to God's Word, were the most powerful, but think...think of the power in those words, spoken over me..us...you.  

God's Word is the most powerful word spoken over us - and this idea of giving a blessing comes from Scripture.  

Don't you believe that God wants to speak those words over you ??  OH YES, HE does.  

If you google search,  speaking a biblical blessing over another,  you will find a plethora of stuff to read and share and speak over your child...your spouse... over a loved one.  

I share this eve and write Part 8 because , I know that I know - GOD wants this for YOU. 

 If you are reading this out of curiosity -- I would encourage you to check out their web site.  If you are reading cause you love us and have seen us and our testimony - I would add that God is always faithful and continually healing.  Even 11 years later, God continually writes our story. 

If you are in a hard marriage and are praying for that vow renewal -- don't give up or give in.  Continue to wait on God - seek God and LET HIM lead ...as indeed, HE wants this Blessing over you.  

Footstone Photography

Recently - a new song has hit the charts - "The Blessing " by Cody Carnes, Chris Brown, Steven Furtick, and Kari Jobe.  WHAT a testimony and what a song. 

It is my prayer that God connects Paul and Kirsten with Kari and Cody Carnes!  

 I can so picture Kristin and Paul being interviewed by Good Morning America or the Today show and having the world SEE how God can create something and bring families together and how this can be a tool for healing and promoting good and healthy, godly thoughts and attitudes.  And, I can see Jesus shine through each phase of it. 

 That is a  new vision, that I am praying into reality.  

So - anyway - as I share this blog, I just want to encourage you that took the time to read this to the end... God will answer.   And you probably prayed for us - so thanks!  

I am but a no body. 
 If He can heal me - redeem us... and our sin was like a filthily rag - it still is......
 We are sinners saved by grace.  

If HE will do it for us - He will do it for you.   May HIS favor be upon you and your children -- amen. 

God bless.  

The Blessing.



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