The Largeness of Marriage

"Not everyone is mature enough to live a married life.  It requires a certain aptitude and grace...But if you are capable of growing into the largeness of marriage, do it."  - Matthew 19. 11-12 Msg. Bible


"Iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another."  - Proverbs 27.17

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In Marriage, opposites attract.  There is strength in this:  our differences are what enable us to be one.  But in time, things that once attracted us can become the very things that repel us.
                             - Lisa and John Bevere    "The Story of Marriage".


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I used to hear comments like, "in heaven I don't have to be married"  ...."I can't wait to get to heaven, so I am no longer married".    "Marriage - why did I ever do it?".

Marriage is hard.    Presently, we are getting ready to  lead an  special conference  ....a study on marriage.

So therefore, the enemy attacks  more.  But that is not what this blog is about.

I got to thinking tonight about something from the study  -- "the LARGENESS of marriage."

And, I got to thinking about something John Bevere stated.  He made the comment that he learned the hard way  -- as God reminded him, that 'she' ...his wife.... was HIS daughter.   God's daughter.

And from that moment, he treated his wife a bit differently.

And, likewise,   Lisa reminds us that the husband is God's son.  So, I need to think of my husband as God's son.

Which....  makes me treat him differently -- or it should.

Since that study, I have been thinking more of 'how' I treat my husband and men.
And I have watched people a bit more.  And I have searched my head and heart and asked God -- am I treating my husband like Your Son?  Your righteous heir?

Are we treating each other like the people they really are? 

                                          Sons and daughters of the MOST HIGH God?  

I know I have been selective in those actions and treatments -- the Holy Spirit reminds me and keeps me humble.

Tonight, one area I know that I must always continue to refine   -- is in the area of respect.  Showing respect to my spouse.

In therapy that was a BIG deal.  I had to make some repeated choices to change some behaviors that had become automatic.  As early in my life, some actions that were attractive had now become a repellant. It takes effort and practice and time.

That is sort of hard to accept.  But...if I believe that I changed  and what I expect  to see in my spouse changed...then why can't it change for me too?   I mean....we always are changing and we must be willing to embrace those changes.  And I must be willing to change.

Showing respect means -

-- now mind you, in some of this blog I AM speaking to myself and with other suggestions ...I am allowing the Holy Spirit to just fill my head with HIS words -- 

Showing respect means - letting him have the last word at times.  Showing respect means listening, really listening and making a physical note to follow up on something and or stop something.

Showing respect means I let him embellish a story here or there and just leave it be.  Showing respect means I don't take over the conversation and interrupt.

Showing respect means I guard his quiet time and when he needs to be alone - to let him be.

Showing respect means that I don't nag and act so needy that I drive him nuts.

Respect might be watching that football game when something else can wait to be done.

Showing respect is thinking ahead and doing some task or something that would help him out.

Respect might just be letting him make a decision and showing respect may mean that I  stick up for him   and protect him -- not allowing  another to fill my  head with 'what is wrong' about him.

Showing respect may be saying thank you for putting away the dishes.  And NOT letting him know that they were put away in the wrong places.

Showing respect might  be me just making sure he realizes-- he is loved.

Showing respect may be holding my  tongue when I know that I  know, he did not listen....
but letting the Holy Spirit do the convicting and disciplining.

Showing respect may be praying and asking God to show me HOW to improve the area of respect.  Showing respect may be doing what he has asked...maybe losing those 10 pounds, or dressing with the sexy little teddy more than once a month.

Point is...pray, communicate and ask God.

I would like to think the Largeness of my marriage is growing.

I would like to think that if someone asked my husband 'how' I show him respect, he would not have to think HARD to list something.

I would like to think that as our marriage grows, we are sharpening each other for HIS purposes.
I would like to think that God is happy with the story we are creating --

Lord, for WHAT I need to change and do or refine...  I am AT your mercy.  Change me Lord.  For the  women or men that read this -- maybe it enrich their lives and help their marriage, or may they just go about their day and praise God that their spouse respects them.  Or may it cause a few to reflect, repent, and change.  In either circumstance, protect this blog and USE it for YOUR purpose.  I am humbled Lord, thank you - 

- Michelle



If you are married and would like to JOIN us and attend the Marriage Conference, please note the dates and contact me to RSVP.
3 nights in January and February of 2015.  Message me for details.

This Conference is open to all.   Church Membership is not required - this is open to all marriages, engaged couples, and dating couples, as well as singles.