Spiritual Adultery and the Someones. Broken.

It is 'winter' right?
I pray the video comes through so you can watch my brother build a small snowman on top of a picnic table in a park of my hometown.    If the sound works...it is me, singing to my nephew - Oliver as he loves the movie "Frozen" and singing..."Do you want to build a snowman?"

I was in Wisconsin almost 2 months ago with family -- celebrating the end of a life -- our Grandmothers.  She was 93.  

It was a happy time.

I get 'many' happy times now.  In less than 40 days.... another very happy time is about to come.

I am honored and have the privilege to be able to help guide a bevy of beauties as God and the Holy Spirit use us to help some other women - GET FREE.  

Four  years ago this past weekend I figured out what it meant to commit adultery....spiritual adultery against my Lord ...Jesus.   It broke me.

I  had the opportunity to attend an ENCOUNTER weekend.  Four  years ago it was quite 'colder' than it has been this winter.  Four  years ago, the bags under my eyes were pretty thick and dark!  Four years  ago, I knew that once the weekend was over, my husband and I had planned to separate again.  We had come to an agreement that it was time. I began to realize that free will is something God gave us for a reason.

What a miracle God can 'do' in HIS time.  Three  years ago  at this time,  we were moving in to our '2nd' new home.  We have moved twice more and become 'vagabonds' to the post office, but oh  how God can do 360's and turn things around is just a pure incredible miracle.

God's timing is perfect.  God can do so much with HIS time.  From my Encounter weekend 4 years ago to our 'move into the Healing House'  three years ago -- much transpired.

Think about it, in a years time...   What can  happen?   A baby can be born.  A child can be conceived.  One gets older.  One can lose a loved one and one can get a diagnosis that changes everything.   One can pay off a loan,  one can spend countless hours in prayer, and one's heart can harden.    One can sit in a divorce court and lose everything.   One can also spend  endless hours in praise,  thanking GOD for a miracle and HIS covering and a blessing.  .......thanking HIM for the cross.

So, like I titled this - spiritual adultery....

Everyone is quick to judge when they hear the word 'adultery' and yet, I have found and know that God does not have levels of sin.  Sin is sin.

I found this in my bible's commentary near the book of Hosea:

Both spiritual and physical adultery are against God's law.

Both spiritual and physical adultery begin with disappointment and dissatisfaction--either real or imagined -- with an already existing relationship.

Both spiritual and physical adultery begin with diverting affection from one object of devotion to another.  ....this diverting of our affection is the first step in the binding process that leads to sin.

Both spiritual and physical adultery involve a process of deterioraton, it is not usually an impulsive decision.....but because you don't realize it, we finally do realize it when it is too late!

Both spiritual and physical adultery involve the creation of fantasy about what a new object of love can do for you...such fantasy creates unrealistic expectations ....and it leads to disappointment in all existing and future relationships.

That was deep - was it not?

I committed spiritual adultery.

Like it or not - that is that.

Israel rejected God's love...they committed Adultery.

The book of Hosea illustrates God's love for his people -- the sinners.

Hosea 3.1...."The Lord said to me, 'Go, show your love to your wife again, though she is loved by another and is an adulteress. Love her as the Lord loves the Israelites, thought they turn to other gods and love the sacred raisin cakes'".

Four years ago, on a Saturday night - I  came to a full realization that I had committed adultery.

 Praise God I had people around me to help me take my sin to the cross. But God opened my eyes that weekend and I knew.  I already knew I was a sinner and I already knew that because of my own sin, and because of what I had heard my Lord tell me...I was suppose to forgive  myself and others, but I never really realized the pain I caused Jesus....what I did to put HIM on the Cross.

Four  years ago at my Encounter, I experienced HIS love and teaching from some ladies that understood what it meant to commit spiritual adultery.  And, I had a vision  ( during extended prayer time ) and I saw, Jesus coming to pick me up out of the muck and mire and put me on HIS horse after he brushed off the dirt that was all over me and  then I experienced the most beautiful yellow....I believe I saw God's eye's for a brief moment.  I believe that I 'got it' on that night.....it all made sense.

 Thus that night, I was really able to totally give my marriage,  my husband, and my job,  my future, and my family ....up to HIM.  I was finally able to TAKE my hands off and allow HIM to work within our lives.  I was finally able to say, I LOVE and trust YOU Lord.  It was that night, that I was washed clean of all of my sin. Washing clean of the sin I had no idea was all over me and I rededicated myself to HIM.

Then I returned home.  Learning to LIVE in that knowledge  was a true  act of worship to HIM.   Learning to really LIVE what it meant to trust HIM is the hard part.  It has been four  years.......

It has been four years of much love, renewed strength, prayer and fun.

It has been four years of   prayer,  godly counsel, and accountability.  ( And  6 month check ups with our Marriage Therapist when needed! ) 

It was a  few  years of uncertainty and yet the most blessed peace; yet in the past two years, it has been such a rebuilding,  such a rewarding time, that ALL of the pain is gone.   ALL.   There are scars, but they are shrinking and turning white almost transparent.... Jesus does heal.  Completely. 

It has been four years of a FRESH walk with Jesus.
It has been the BEST four years of my life.
It has been the BEST four years of marriage .....with both will tease, 'this is our 2nd act' -- Our Sequel. 

 ( There has been CRUD around and some VERY hard times and tears -- In fact, my husband and I have never been so challenged with  situations within our circle of influence: however,  .....but if we are called to serve the body of Christ -- we must be willing to shed tears with our brothers and sisters in Christ and we must stand in the gap at times,  sharpen iron at times  ....and be on our knees -- ALL of the time.  )  

HE has allowed scars, so I never forget!

I am so humbled.
I will forever sing of HIS praises.

HE has given me such a peace about so much, and the stuff I am still unsure of..I trust HE will lead, direct and show me the path.

But my heart aches for some.

Someone else needs to read this tonight.
Someone else maybe needs this same Encounter Experience.  

Someone else has put other things in front of her Lord.

Someone loves his job too much, he  really doesn't see it but he makes excuses and excuses as to why he doesn't  need to be in a church under the covering of a Pastor each weekend and his wife just agrees.  She needs a godly leader.

Someone loves their children way too much, ahead of their spouse and their needs come first and one day they won't realize it until it is too late, but that will cause rebellion.

Someone loves her body, or the idol worship of exercise,  to cloud her  or his judgement, thinking and believing that God is going to notice their size in heaven...when in fact they are not putting that amount of time into learning about HIM. And the  children are watching 'what' is important to their mother.

Someone else needs to ask themselves....is my husband my idol?
Someone has committed Spiritual Adultery against their Lord.....  Jesus.

I can speak...as that was me.

 Ouch.

 From the outside, I  was this great warrior for God - I was at times.  I do believe I prayed and did as much as I knew HOW to do, but my view of God and my trust of HIM was so so so shallow.    ( I did not see that then. )  And,  I did a great deal of GOOD for HIM and HIS Kingdom, but I failed, I allowed idolatry to sneak its way in and I did not realize it until it was too late.  But maybe it was not too late....I believe HE opened my eyes when I was ready to change!  I believe HE knew I had to fall out of love, allow a love to perish so it could be rebuilt, and I believe HE wanted so much more out of me.

I hurt for them.
 The Someones.

  I see some of them around me.   Both my husband and I can 'see' them here and there and we meet them and just know.   I know the pain that God will allow - HE wants NO one to perish.  I also hurt for their children...as the fruit of this rebellion will show up - later.  I hurt for them....I want to grab them and shake them- wake up. My husband and I talk about the someones often, he is better at discerning and reminding me that PRAYER is our battle tool and that with the ARMOR of HIM, we can be there when those Someones fall.

I hate it, but I believe those Someones  may have to fall....they have to be broken to be used.  Pride is the biggest that will fall. I had a lot of Pride.  A lot.

Someone once told me,  " usually the  ones we have a hard time getting along with ---are the ones we SEE ourselves in, and often we don't like what we SEE".   She was a VERY wise bible teacher.   I can hear her often -- and I hear her voice saying it.  It makes so much sense.  The Spirit within me...the Holy Spirit in me, bears witness to their Spirit.

I know that I know -- I had a Spirit of Religion, Pride, Lust.... I could name SEVERAL more.... but I am not going to speak them out... They are my past... not my future.  

When you are really in LOVE with the Lord, and know exactly what Jesus did for you at the cross - you don't want anyone else to perish.  YOU want to spend moments and moments in worship ...reading, praying, and learning more...being close to HIM.  You understand what Prayer without ceasing means and you want to get plugged in.  YOU want more of HIM.

I saw a video/skype/ telecast of Francis Chan during the Passion 2013 conference.    He was brought to tears and I won't forget what he said, "if you want to be close to Jesus and experience HIM...just ask, and begin to share that faith with the lost"..."YOU will get close very quickly...YOU can't help it - it will challenge and change you."

Lord, I always want  to speak in love, and I pray that those 'someones'....would see something in me and my husband  that they want.  Oh God, open their eyes.  I am not your Holy Spirit, some of those Someones are SO blind and believe they are 'ok'...OH God....I don't want them left behind.  Oh Lord, spare them the pain of being knocked  to their knees, but if  You don't spare them and allow the Enemy to strike, let me be ready to pray for them and love on them.  Bring them to my mind, and to my husband's mind...we want to bind the Enemy and help them experience YOUR forgiveness.

 Lord, I pray my children will never experience spiritual adultery, God I pray they will make a covenant with you and hold tight.   Oh God, I see potential  idols - they are young adults  and yet, I know they know.  Oh Lord, it is so easy to allow the Enemy to get a foothold...in...oh God, if there is anything I am holding onto or beginning to become an idol - show me!  - Amen

Lord,  may I remember this:

"Above all, love each other deeply because love covers a multitude of sins"  1 Peter 4.8

Humbled,

your daughter!

For any women reading this -- and you are in the area of Okeechobee,  You Too can have an Encounter Experience.  His Church Women's Ministries  is having our next God Encounter Weekend, from March 27-29.  God has given us our title or theme...United in Armor.

I am most humbled and expectant as I know God is going to give each and every women that same experience -- if they are open to it and WANT it.  It is time to get FREE.  amen.