what a week . .catastrophic . . . .

Lord, this was to be a week of Spring Break. I had my ideas and wants for the week. I had made plans, only to have them adjusted and then changed. I wanted this and I wanted that. . You know exactly what my heart cried out on Sunday night and Monday.

However, today at the end of this week, I cry out Abba Father - thank you. You made this week even more 'eventful' than I could of imagined and even though it did not end like I felt it should of, you love me enough to bring such insights, blessings, and little tidbits of knowledge and you 'HOLD me' right when I needed to be held. You are Lord. Your way is best. What you have planned for me -- I can't even imagine.

You slowly showed me, how people can be set free, how people can allow the enemy back in and even the experience of PUSHING it out with your Holy Spirit and boy oh boy was that not a real and physical manifestation?? It was and then to reveal to me your purpose in it. I am humbled. And you giving me real world illustrations to 'cement' what I was learning and what you want me to know. . .Unbelievable.

Lord, you showed me my need for more patience, you showed me how much you can love the unloveable and in my darkest moments, you provided peace, joy, and such love. I sit her amazed -- no, in wonder of how much we, as your people are loved. You showed me clearly what you have said to me over and over. You have given me wisdom that can only come from you and when it benefits another and I so am thankful that you are getting the glory .. YOU do a 180 and allow that wisdom to speak right back to me and you provide the beautiful servants around me to speak it back to me. I sit here - humbled, blessed, and just in wonder.

I pray those around me would reach up to you as well and love you like you should be loved. Lord, I pray for guidance and direction. Lord, I pray for your perfect timing and thank you for it. Lord, There is no way that I could ever think that you 'loved' me as much as you loved David, Job or even Peter and yet, this week -- YOU proved to me that you do. And you clearly showed me how you love the unloveable. Lord, you even showed me how I can revert back to 'sin' and how ugly it was/is and how I never wish to return to it. And you did it so gently and lovingly.

But Lord, . . here is the but . .right? No -- I am just stating, I am weary. I am weak. Even though this week has been spectacular in its own revelations . . . . .my flesh is weak. Sustain me Lord. Come to my rescue. I can visualize you on that horse . .like I did back several weeks ago, come again, let me see you scoop me up, scoop him up, scoop her up . .and the others .. change us OH Lord, may we never expect what you are going to do but, trust and stand in wonder about YOUR great gifts and provisions. May I never cease to sing your Praises. Thank you for Psm. 17 and Psm . 37 .. you love me as much as you loved David. You love him that much too -- all of us.

Yesterday you gave me: 1 Peter 5.10
And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast.

That is what I want to radiate of you -- you have made me strong, firm, steadfast and even in my cries . . you ministered and reminded me of the Holy Spirit within.

Even when I begin to try and control and give you my McDonald's prayers . . of . this . .and of . .that .. you gently bring me back and show me how to pray and how to interceed. I am humbled. This is a love letter to you Lord - today. Thank you for preparing me to be your bride. Pure and spotless . .use me to give mercy, and show your Love.

Lord, you know my tasks for today and what I need to do. I know I must, as you have ordained it. However Lord, You will make my path straight. I thank you.

And Lord, what Beth commented on:

Whether the circumstances that led to our fiercest battles are someone else's fault, our own fault, or the fruit of life's unfairness, having God as our Father grants us hope: a perfect setup for catastrophic defeat is also the perfect setup for miraculous victory. No matter how we got into this mess, wejust have to keep believing we will be out of it soon.

YOU are sovereign Lord.
YOU are the best daddy in the world and the best husband and the best friend.
YOU speak loudly and I thank you.
Today is YOUR day Lord, go ahead and use me to change whatever in me. . and may they see it. I want it all -- I want all of YOU.

Amen.