It is tough being a woman being thrown a MAN - sized weight.
Today was a tough day.
I have been thinking and asking God about this Scenario for several days now and this eve -- the MAN sized weight.... the HUGE sized weight....the AWFUL sized weight that was thrown on me and many others today ..... is one of a LOSS.
Grief ....death...hurt... sad sadness.
In the story of Ester, Ester comes to the realization that her people are going to be alienated-- persecuted and killed. The Edict had been signed and sealed and the Jewish people were to perish.
When I was thinking of this and in prayer, I thought of many types of edicts.....
..... the revelation of a woman when she discovers her husband has betrayed her -
.....the revelation of a woman when she learns that her son has made poor choices and is now being placed under arrest -
...... the revelation of a woman when what she has been looking forward to: a proposal, a vow, or a new job-- is taken from her -
..... the revelation of a woman when the doctor states there is a diagnosis -
.....the revelation of a woman when the police officer comes to the door and a child was in an accident
.....the revelation of.....
And this eve -- as my heart is hurting, the revelation of a beautiful woman, who made a choice to end her life. Hard. Why......
I am so thankful for a Heavenly Father -- and when I can't make sense of anything, I fall back to the comfort of -- HE knows.
I believe that her pain is eased -- and that Jesus was there to welcome her to heaven. I have to believe that.
My grandfather took his life when I was 9. 41 years ago - people did not speak about suicide and I was told to not speak about it. Often I would wonder 'why'. It became a topic of conversation over the years, and yet --- truth be told, we will only know the total truth and 'why' when we are in heaven.
And in heaven - there is NO sadness.
There is a sister this evening that is grieving the loss of her sister.
There is a brother, grieving his sister.
There is a mom, trying to come to grips with the death of her husband and now her daughter.
There is a son, who has to come to grips with the death of his mother.
There are many many many lives that have been touched by this beautiful woman .....who was always found with a SMILE on her face.
This family extends...into many.
And there is a husband who is in severe pain -- grieving.
Lord, touch each and everyone of them.
1 Thessalonians 5.11 says, Encourage one another and build each other up.
2 Corinthians 4.18 says, We fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal."
Ephesians 4.32 says, "Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you."
When my Grandpa died, I remember for months my mom searching for articles and stuff to read so that we could maybe "see" the why or if we could have prevented it.
Tonight, I looked on line and googled "suicide prevention - christian" and found a very helpful piece of information. I think it would be good to share -- but not now.
But no matter what -- we love our loved ones and watch....but we just don't know the future. It is in these times....we pray...we trust... and we believe -- that tomorrow -- there will be HOPE.
Jill -- I have thought of you often today. I have cried...I have remembered and I have enjoyed the photos of you on Face Book -- and I am so thankful that God knew.
Jill, I will hold your entire family in prayer -- and I will hold onto these verses as well:
"When you pass through the waters, I will be with you: and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned: the flames will not see you ablaze." Isaiah 43.2
Isaiah 41.10 "So do not fear, for I am with you: do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you: I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."