Saturday, August 8, 2015

It's Tough being a woman..... Scenario #1

I am in the beginning of a bible study on Ester.  What a remarkable woman of the bible.  I first did this study ( it is a Beth Moore study ) back beginning in April of 2009.  Beth starts out sharing the feast of Purim.  And how the scroll would be rolled out and the entire "megillah" would be read and shared so that the story of Ester and how she saved her people would not be forgotten. 


I think about that  - what story am I writing that won't be forgotten.  I pray my children can repeat my best qualities and I pray that they will be examples of Christ and I hope and pray they SAW Christ within me....  that would be answer to prayer. 

Over this past summer, I received some news of an extended  family member of   my brother's family and he is battling ALS.  It was such a shock.  It still is.   And for HIS purposes ( God's purposes)  ...  this family has become  embedded within my brain.  I have prayed.  ( God even orchestrated this family to come across my path twice within the week I was home -- but little did I know of the diagnosis. )   I have sent a note of encouragement, but I want and will do more. 

Their daughter is getting married this weekend.  What a joyous occasion, however, within this week, the groom's father was taken home to the Lord with an unexpected and quick heart attack.  He was only in his mid 50's.  Again... wow.  Why Lord?   Does the future bride and groom embrace a funeral before or after their wedding.  ???  This question so had plagued my mind today and yet...I know that I know of what GOD can do and I know that whether they choose to celebrate this man's life before or after the wedding -- God can and will bring beauty out of these ashes.  I don't have details.  I don't know if the groom is an only child or not - but does that make a difference?  I don't know how close the groom and his dad were, but again -- my heart breaks for this brand new married couple, starting their married life together with cloud of sadness. 

When I heard of the diagnosis of the bride's dad ... I was shocked and saddened and yet...  I know this family and they LOVE the Lord and I believe there will be many lives touched by HIS hands.  But still .... 

I can't imagine. 

Because of this news, both Brendan and I have spoken a bunch over the summer about death and our wishes.  Not to be morbid..... but, I  have some wants  - of  if and when my death occurs.  I don't wish for it to be tomorrow, nor do I want some gala, but I want a celebration of life.  Two years ago at this time, I was praying with my dear childhood friend who was battling cancer for the 2nd time and her healing came when she saw Jesus.  As I get older, I guess I have begun to think more of eternity!  ALS is a disease I don't know much about, but it certainly has had a lot of publicity in the past year with that ice - bucket challenge.  Would I want to just go quickly, or have a diagnosis where  my life would change ....?  Either way -- does it change how I live today? 

Ester was indeed an orphan.  Her parents had died.  We don't know exactly how or why, but she was raised by her cousin, a male cousin.  The book of Ester shows a vital perspective on the providence of God.  Ester was sustained.... raised by Mordecai.  He was a Jewish man, but in  exile within the people at that time ...as the Jews had basically blended in to the woodwork.  And then Ester, saved her people.  In Persia, Ester means STAR....she certainly became a star to the Jewish people. 


For the family that is dealing with a death and a diagnosis this weekend as well as a wedding -- Lord...I pray and know YOU will draw them close and be there for them.  Lord, be with my family that is indeed embedded within this family and I pray they will be a source of hope and comfort.  Lord.... I know that this life is temporary and I pray that as each person walks through this weekend -- God, comfort in such a way that they sustain...IN Jesus name... Amen. 

With this bible study, we are looking at some scenarios for women.  This first one, "it is hard being a woman in another woman's shadow". 


Six years ago when I first laid my eyes on this curriculum and went through the weekly lessons, I wrote in the margin about 'the other woman'.  I knew something was bothering our lives, my marriage, but I felt it was the mid-life crisis stuff and I felt it was the WORLD that had pulled my family apart and had disengaged my husband's heart.  But it was not only his heart that was pulled away -- it was mine too.  There was a cloud around us.  The enemy had taken residence within our hearts - both of us. 

I thought today about the 'other woman' within the lives of the people who read this...

...who is within your life right now that is affecting your walk with Christ? 
Is it a wayward daughter? 
Is it a daughter living in outright sin and not ashamed of it?
It is a mother or mother - n - law with such unforgivness that you hurt?
Is it  a child that has gone onto heaven before you? 
Is it a woman that has decided to interject her thoughts, actions, and reactions into you life?
Is it a woman that has brought circumstances to full circle?
It is  a past sin that continues to haunt you? 
It is a past circumstance that you have not dealt with? 
Perhaps it is hard to be a woman with the shadow of a former wife lurking within your marriage?
Is it the shadow of rejection, hurt, and fear? 
It is a newborn baby that has taken over your heart and focus that everything else and everyone else has taken a back seat ...?  Including the Lord? 

Who or What is that other woman?   

As I went over the pages within my homework and had to answer the question of the 'other woman' ...  I wrote that there was a shadow over my life and my marriage but I pleaded with God to reveal it in HIS time and to heal me.  I pleaded with God to teach me more of  His character so that I could be MORE like HIM and I prayed for a hug.  In the margin of my study on 4/20/2009 I wrote....

"Lord, today was a hard day....  I feel so alone and unloved.  Unwanted.  But God....  I will trust in You - move the mountain or move me."  And then I was headed to my sister's house to soak in the hot tub as it was the eve before her son's birthday.  He would be turning 19 the next day...but he would be celebrating in heaven.  So I went to her place and we sat in that tub.

 BUT...on the way TO my sister's house -- I got a phone call.  From my earthly dad.  And if you know him...he NEVER calls....  never.  But he called me out of the blue.  And he told me he was thinking of me.  We chatted for only a few moments, as I got choked up and began to cry right on the phone, but I told him, it meant the world to me for him to call and he had no idea of the significance. 

Even 6+ years later -- this DIRECT HUG from my Lord.... still brings me to tears. 

6 years to the present, I am aware of the fact there was another woman.  However, it is only a part or piece of our story - that is now our history and yet ...  as God saw fit, HE knew it was our destiny to overcome, so therefore we can share the greater news of his redemption and our restoration.   


So I know -- that if there is 'another woman' within your life causing a shadow .... ask for a HUG from HIM. 

So I know -- if there is a diagnosis or hurt.... ask for a HUG from HIM.

And...for that precious family in Wisconsin that is on my heart -- know that HE is there -- ready to HUG you too!   

- humbled. 

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