when we think we can hide from God ....

God had me UP this am, early. I prayed but thinking and listening to HIM is more of what was going on. There is something I need to express.

For so long, I would hear preachers, teachers, and even priests say, "God is watching" .. "HE knows everything". .. and I could understand that. I mean - sure, HE is GOD. . .but, did that change certain behaviors?

no.

Did that change what I did at times?

no.

What did finally change me?

I love rock and roll music. I love a good beat. I can dance. I loved the movie GREASE until I watched it with my 4 year old and 'finally' got the meaning of some of the songs, and the meaning of the script and then I was ashamed that I bragged to Taylor about HOW good this movie was -- it was a classic.

I read children's books. That is my passion. Others read adult books - romance and stuff but I never got into that. Then one day, someone gave me this book about this woman Franchesca and I read it within 24 hours . ..it was about a woman who had an affair -- but it was "ok" .. cause the author made it seem so real and she deserved to be happy. I bragged and bragged about it and made my mother-n-law sit with me in a theater and watch it. THEN - I realized, how the message was not very good, and I was ashamed I had asked her to come and watch it. I remember her asking me, "you really liked this book?". And I had to say - "yes" .. but I guess you have to read the book to appreciate the movie.

I remember using the words "Jesus Christ" and "Damn" so frequently as a kid, that it was second nature. I knew I was not suppose to say those words, but did God really hear me? I mean, was HE everywhere?

Where am I going with this?

I think, or in my case, I never fully understood that GOD is everywhere -- HE is our Daddy, HE is our Creator, HE is GOD. ..... . .I don't think I ever understood HIS holiness.

I was thinking, when a boy meets a girl or a girl meets a boy and that initial 'puppy love' thing starts, you go crazy. You do whatever it takes. You don't eat, you think, you dream about them, you watch what you say around them, YOU are in love with that person and you want to PLEASE and SERVE them.

So, why is it that we don't do that with God?

I mean, Why is it that you can see - some don't want to spend time with God. Some think that God is not watching and will allow this or that? Some really think that they can get away with something. Some just simply don't love God.

Maybe rather, they have never allowed themselves to FALL in LOVE with God?

Just thinking -- just saying. I can relate. I know I never really understood what it meant to be in love with God.

Because Now . . .I don't want to hurt HIS feelings.

I don't want to listen to that crud on the music station from Rhinna and listen to her say that 'chains and whips excite me' ....if it really does, that is for her and her husband -- not the millions of people she sings too and the children who recite that song and have NO clue as to what they are saying. But, some of us DON'T shut off that music - we allow it.

But I think that many of us just think -- well, God understands.

I don't want to watch that movie that disrespects my DADDY and hurt HIS feelings. So, do I buy the ticket for the movie or do I pass? Do I actually say to the one who asks, "no, that movie is not for me?". Or do I just slink away?

I don't want to see visions or images of 'body parts' that are meant for only the eyes of the person's other half . namely their spouse on TV or in a magazine and yet, I still buy those 'rag' magazines at times and I still will catch myself watching TMZ or Entertainment Tonight as it is news --right?

Oh Lord, I can see where you are opening my eyes. I don't want to become one of these people who become so prudish but I also want to be a leader, I want to be one that stands UP for YOU. I don't want to hurt your feelings.

I know that you see all, you hear all, and you know our hearts. The way you made me -- I can't listen to certain stuff or see certain stuff without going down the wrong path -so, keep me strong. KEEP me away from that stuff. Thank you for shielding me from so much. Give me the strength and boldness to bolt when I need to but also, please give me the compassion and love to explain to that loved one - I can't listen or watch this. As, it offends my Daddy and I love HIM too much to go backwards.

Lord, the scripture where you state -- what come out is from our hearts .. .. or the scripture of what to focus on .whatever is pure . . .lovely .. .

Lord, that is what I want to focus on. That is why you have me up today -- I believe. Maybe another reading this will be blessed -- if not, that is OK - but me, expressing it, helps me to see and understand others.

Others are not in love with YOU - .... . YET . .. . .help me to love them no matter what. Help me to show YOUR unfailing love, no matter what. HELP me to have patience with their journey - like YOU did with me.

Thank you, for when they discover this through YOU and your H/Spirit - wow, the revelation will come. And they too, won't want to listen to crap or watch crud.

I am just saying.

I know I can't HIDE from you, even thought I still catch myself at times, trying to explain things to YOU and rationalize them. I realize, I can't hide.

I hear you Lord.

I love you.

michelle