Friday, February 1, 2013
tonight was a FIRST...just a FIRST...
Tonight was a FIRST. And please, note - this sort of thing would of FREAKed me out for MANY MANY MANY years. I remember being newly married and having a few speakers come the to A/G church in Okeechobee and it was sort of like 'hell and fire/brimstone' preaching and I would sit there and just go - 'um'. To be honest, I was fearful of what 'god did'. I was raised CAtholic. There was a message of how good God was, but also that HE punished. And there were no outward displays --- I mean, I remember when Mrs. Butzine tried to get the congregation to sing this new song with hand motions back in ...um...1978 or 1979 and it caused a stir. Mass lasted 40 minutes and hour tops. Sitting in a church service that lasted more than 45 min. was TORTURE! ( Tonight - the 3 hours went by in an INSTANT!) And I hoped to go to heaven. It was when I met Brendan and learned that he knew he was going to heaven, than I began to go --- "really, how do you know that?"
I saw something in Brendan in those early years of marriage, something that HELD me when God asked me to show grace and mercy to him, as God was drawing him near even in his time of being the prodigal who walked away. Anyway, back then, I would sit in that pew and bargain with God, 'don't let me be too weird, I don't have to WANT to worship that way'..as you see, I had such a fearful love of God. But oh, how HIS character is NOT fearful. I am not afraid of God now...I am afraid of what it would be like to 'not' honor God. God whoo'd me so slowly and I never really saw it until I realized how I had idols. I never really realized it until HE allowed me to hit bottom, then I could finally really see HIS grace and HIS mercy and HIS tremendous love for us. But that is another story, back to being fearful. I am not afraid of God. I am afraid for the people around me who take this so lightly. I am afraid for what could happen if I don't honor God. Anyway, HE draws us near and HE did. Brendan and I have been to hell and back and tonight was another piece of healing. Tonight was a blessing, as we were in a ministry TOGETHER!
In the past year, I have been a witness to and watched as God answered many prayers as the Prodical Son returned home but restoration has been taking place. It is such a high. It was such a high this eve! It was/is a slow process, but God has allowed me to witness so much and it has increased my faith, made me stronger, and it has changed me. I have witnessed and prayed for one who DID receive healing. I have witnessed and prayed for one that DID receive deliverance. I have prayed for one who DID receive a miracle in a 'perfect baby'. All of those little chances to be USED, increased my faith and gave me HOPE. Those are precious tidbits of blessings that have marked my 2nd half with God.
In my lifetime, the changes I have seen have been extraordinary. But what I saw this eve, will be a life changing moment forever. I have been home for 2 hours and can't sleep, I just want to SHARE! I believe the biggest revelation to me, is that for so many years, I would believe and do cause I thought I needed too...now, it is cause I WANT to. GOD changes our WANT to's!
Brendan will tell you as a child, he saw, but hardly experienced most of what God offered. My perception of him as a Christian in those years was so different. Tonight he would tell you had he flashbacks to his trip with his family to AFrica back in 1976 when they visited his Grandparents in the Mission Field in Ghana, Africa. Tonight I saw my husband's faith increase as tears washed his eyes as the hundreds fled the alter. TRemendous. Tonight was amazing. Just amazing. I will share but please keep this to yourself, he was so excited to see his prayers answered and I replied, "I know, I DO understand that concept and I know EXACTLY how you feel to be a witness to it". I am so proud of my DADDY in heaven that allowed me to see this. As a woman, we want to help and be or do what is necessary to have a problem solved or a hurt comforted, but so often people ( namely men or our spouses) need to SEEK God and hear directly from HIM on their own. The relationship has to be strong between the man and God, THEN he can be the husband and father he needs to be. God allowed me to witness Brendan's revelation!
For almost 3 months, Brendan has been faithfully praying for healings, and salvations, and the people to invite or to bring with us. We did send out invites, and then at the last minute, God blessed us and we were a part of a team of taking the testimonies and discerning as to which ones would be shared publicly. WE were just the notetakers, the people FLOODED the alter and their excitement of wanting to share their miracle was heartwarming. There were plenty of elders and intercessory prayer people that also discerned their testimonies so Brendan and I just recorded and be blessed - but WOW. I prayed that the people we invited were there, and I knew God was pleased with me being the sower. Seeds were sowed this evening. We were both so blessed. Brendan and I are believing this is the beginning of something in our United States. Brendan said, "it felt like I was back in Africa listening to my grandfather ( with a bit of German accent too)" - Brendan was completely blessed.
There was/are healings- lots of it/them. Tomorrow is another night. We believe there will be over 5000 there this eve. WE believe God will be there and bless us with an even BIGGER delight! I believe the lost souls as well as the believers here this eve were touched by God. I was most touched by this 70+ year old man and his wife that received Salvation for the first time, as he walked away from the alter crying - that had to of been a HARDENED heart! I know some will return again tomorrow just to see if it is legit. It is. Man it was.
I want to be a sower, God does not have me speaking to millions, but he has me around people everyday. Lord, I will be so open to WHAT you have in store, thank you for today!
- IN Christ,
your daughter Michelle