Monday, May 19, 2014

God continues to test me...

I am being tested.  I don't like it; however, I have had such a peace beyond all understanding so I won't question God.

However, it happened again today - I questioned.
It happened last night - I questioned.

It happened again this am....I questioned.
I even got MAD at God.  I posted a prayer/ slash conversation to him  and shared it with  another sister in Christ.
I had to vent it...I had to write it all down.  I was mad at God.

God already knew it - HE knows my heart, but I KNOW HE also hears the frustration and difficulty within my prayer.

So, I believe I am being tested.

I have proclaimed that God can set the captives right now, maybe if someone watched me closely...would they agree that I am 'looking' like I believe that?

I have proclaimed that God right now.....when I realize that some hurt just has to heal in time.....would someone watching me agree that I am 'believing' that?

I have proclaimed certain battles are being won,  but only at the hands of God.
But right this VERY moment -- it feels like the enemy is winning.

Being tested is no fun.
I think God is asking me to rise up a trust Him again in a situation even when it does not look good.

Lord, I don't assume I know it all.
I can tell you - I KNOW nothing.
My head tells me one heart tells me another and yet YOUR word says.....

You will keep me on track.
I will 'practice' what I preach and wait this out...continue to pray....believe....and I have claimed something that is not impossible....but for right now - it looks pretty unbelievable.

God - only YOU know - all of it.
God  - only YOU can move the mountain or move me.
God - take over.....I don't like this test.

I will stand firm as to what I believe YOUR Holy Spirit has impressed upon me.
But Lord, lead and Jesus name, Amen.

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