Saturday, January 18, 2014

Prayer #37 Prayers for a CRITICAL Spirit marriage

One of the best lessons I have come to learn as we head into our 27th year of marriage ...whoot whoo....is ......can you hear the drum roll???? Praise You God for the 26+ years!

HOLD THY TONGUE


Can I get a witness?
 My tongue used to do a lot of damage, now I am  trying to tame it and use it only to uplift and encourage.
But I still fail. I am human.

Having a  CRITICAL  spirit is something  a marriage can survive - but it usually takes casualties of war.   And most often it is NOT a happy marriage. I have seen over many years,  that as this spirit grows and gets refined  --  that spirit will  manifest itself in conversations at the dinner table.  And THAT is awkward.

Have you ever been to dinner with a married couple that bickered all the time.
I am ashamed to say that for a short time period - that is what you would of heard if you were around my husband and I some years ago.

I grew up having a critical spirit around me and I never felt 'good enough'.  That  came from my dad -- and believe me - I LOVE MY DAD.....  and I am not 'dad bashing' or 'dad blaming'. I believe he was the BEST dad for me and he did the BEST he could - he was a great dad.  He was raised with more criticism than praise and probably my grandparents were raised that same way too.  I am NOT blaming -- no way - it is just a fact.

My  dad has changed and  you can tell, he has regrets -- my time and visits  with him now as an adult-- are precious moments I cherish as they are few and far between.

But that spirit altered how I looked at things,  how I responded to things,  and eventually  it tempered what I allowed into my life.   But now,  I see that the CRITICAL spirit  in me - is GONE...we've cast it out and even though it wants to reconnect with me at times, I take authority over it and speak LIFE and use God's Words as the  CARING spirit  of God redefines,  prunes, or convicts me.
God's Word now - guides me.

Maybe you condemn the person as well as the action?    Read Proverbs 12.18 --- we should condemn the action only -- NOT the person.

Maybe you focus on the faults of others?  Read Proverbs 6.41 --- we should focus on self-examination.

12 Maybe you ridicule?  Proverbs 11.12 says:  whoever derides their neighbor has no sense, but the one who has understanding holds their tongue...

Maybe you make judgements based on appearances,  respond harshly when criticized or accused by others,  or maybe you lack mercy towards others....

See -- I was born with a flesh pattern to have a CRITICAL.  

When in a marriage - it is VERY easy to be critical and correct and then  try to 'fix'.  

Just being married for 5 years, and sitting in church or listening to talk radio quickly convicted me of my critical spirit and I changed many of the ways.  I thought about things and I recognized what it was.  And  I raised my children -- as if that critical spirit was GONE.  

I spoke LIFE into them.  

.....Funny how when we think we are raising our kids to be 'different from us'....they end up like us anyway and many of the traits we THOUGHT we were not passing on......we still did.....

It really was not until God allowed a crisis of faith to come into my life -- that I really saw .....and understood - I WAS SUCH a sinner - still am, but saved by grace.  

I began to see that my critical spirit and my judgements and my condemnations based on thoughts and feelings were my ....spiritual adultery ...my sin that kept me away from God's favor and I repented.  

It has been a process and  God is NOT finished with me.  We are sort of like ONIONS...we peel in layers and just when I get ahold of one such 'criticalness'.......The Holy Spirit reveals the NEXT part that needs to be dealt with.  

In all of that - HOLDING my tongue has been my saving grace.  

To ask God to change an attitude or fix something and then waiting on HIM to move and speak....therefore the situation gets corrected or -- my husband gets convicted and I am not the one that pointed it out - get my drift?    God wins.  I win.  

So, today's prayer is for that wife or husband that knows -- they need some deliverance from a critical spirit -- because two people in a relationship have it HARD enough -- we don't need to be critical and make our lives more stressful.  And besides, blessings flow when we yield to our flesh and become people with CARING spirits rather than CRITICAL ones!  


Heavenly Father, God I pray that the one reading this prayer today will be in agreement with me that we must always identify and admit to our shortcomings.  Lord, forgive us, Lord you practice compassion on us daily - You died for us and we need to practice compassion and we need to realize that we can not 'toss the first stone'. 

 Lord God - for the marriages I claim victory in - Lord, move on those hearts today and cause each and everyone involved to RECHECK themselves -- are they being too critical?  Lord, I pray, that they would see the God-given WORTH is their spouse and in others.  Lord I pray they would accept others and God I pray they would praise their spouse in positive ways.  God I pray these marriages would refuse to would each other any more with words and I pray that they would LOOK to YOU first for unmet needs and then try and be the helper that meets needs int their spouse.  

Lord I pray they would rely on Your Word and seek answers.  Lord, Your Word says in Matthew 7.12 --'do to others as you would have them do to you'. God I pray that each of the couples we are praying for  would LOOK to YOU for every move and answer, as I know that if they were listening to You - they would repent, seek forgiveness and work their damnedest -- yes I cussed - their damnedest to seek godly counsel and help for restoration.  

The time is now.  Thank you Lord, for I have seen a marriage change and I want that for my peeps as well.  In Jesus name, Amen.  

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