Verbal vomit.....

.

"Quit the verbal bla bla bla bla bla......bla......"

There was a time in my crisis of faith that I had a 'right' to fuss.  I mean, I was wronged...I was hurt and wanted to hurt others ....I was.......

And I was ugly.  For a good month - maybe 60 days.  I was ugly. Verbally.  Mentally.  I 'vomited' on anyone who would listen and I said WAY too much to my kids.   If you were close - you got an earful.  If you called me - I probably shared WAY TO MUCH.    I never really posted anything on Facebook, but the  bible verses I quoted or put as my status were those  of a wounded soul that needed comfort and love.  I wanted responses -- I wanted comfort.  I WANTED someone to defend me and stand up for me.  I did.

They were more narcissistic in nature.    That is not me.  I don't want to be remembered for that.

Ephesians 4.29  Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers.

 

I know Social Media is just that - social verbage... We share photos, we share the highlights of our day, and some of us post when we are headed to the store, when we are SO  happy, and when the next GATOR game or soccer game is. I get it.  I do it.

I post for my Wisconsin  family..... I can see photos of my nieces and nephews on FB.  And I post  to share what is on my heart.  I use Facebook to ENCOURAGE and let the loves ones who love me....see what my heart and head are thinking.

 I also look and watch to  see what my Christian friends and old classmates are up to.

 I love FB.

 I enjoy it.

  I am a type of person that will write a card rather than call...I feel freedom in expressing what is on my brain rather than telling it.  I laugh at times, cause someone will say, "oh I don't do Facebook" but when you are with them -- they TELL exactly the same stuff - just in a shorter amount of time -- and they share info about others...and they just give you the verbal info - in person.

  And I admit, sometimes, I don't make conversation cause I already KNEW that info....as I saw it on FB, but most often, FB gives me the chance to follow up and actually make conversation when I see the person at the grocery store, or elsewhere.  As I said, I like Facebook.

I figure if you don't like me -- or what I post - you will just delete me, block me, or put me  on the list where you don't see my posts in your newsfeed.  And THAT is OK.  I do that too.  There are people that I have 'off' my newsfeed - but I go and check in on them.....as I can't handle WHAT they are posting ....but the Holy Spirit has not released me to block or delete them.  I figure -- God knows.

But with the good -- comes the bad.

At the time of my 'earthquake' or crisis of faith,  I noticed a few other women that got quiet.  Or they were quiet.   So...

I got quiet.

I think being quiet says more.  There are posts that I read and I want to kindly tell that person -- did you reread that?  Is that showing the lost the light of Jesus in you?  I have this ' HALT'  acronym in my bible.  I got it from Beth Moore or Carlie Huckabee...unsure which one - both are EXCELLENT bible teachers and wise women.  But, it says..."halt" ...before you speak - ask yourself, is it being said or written while you are hurt...or angry?  Are you lonely  or tired?   ......WE can't let our emotions control what we do and say.   One of the fruits of the Spirit is self-control.  We need to show self-control, especially if we claim to be a JEsus FREAK one moment ...and then allow the enemy to use our words or our actions to remind another LOST soul...we really are NO different than them.  

Anyway -- as stuff got BETTER in my life, I was delighted to watch the responses to the better posts and to certain phrases.

God wins is one such phrase. 

 "God wins"  --THAT is what I had to tell myself ...to believe that NO matter what I was going to BE OK -- no matter what the circumstance or outcome of my personal crisis of faith would be.....and no matter what-- GOD does win.  HE wins daily when we allow HIM to work within our lives.

So back to -- the verbal vomit. 

Please don't use FB to get your affirmation.  It just does not look good. 


Ephesians 4:30 - 32 says  Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one anouther, even as God in Christ forgave you.  

I know someone has maybe wronged you -- I know you may be hurting.

Hurting people hurt others.  Getting beyond a betrayal or a major offense is hard.

 But....allow GOD to shine through and if you will be obedient and LET HIS goodness and grace come forth OFF that status...instead of the hurt.....YOU are going to be rewarded - I bet instantly.

God knows it will take time.  God knows triggers will flare up and you will need to walk through them.  Most 'hurts' did not build up and happen within a few days -- many took YEARS before they were released or revealed...so it may take a good year or several months to allow the hurt to heal.  But....moving forward and making sure you are OPEN to forgiveness and extending grace and mercy is a daily obstacle.  Only GOD can walk you through that --

As God wants you to be a light - in the darkness.


Humbled and grateful that you spent the time to read to the end of this...and I pray - Lord, for the one who needed to hear this...I pray it is received in love and with grace and mercy.  I would never wish to harm that one.....In Jesus name, Amen.