What keeps coming into my head is today....
Does he realize WHAT he is giving up?
Does he realize that he is pushing her away?
God brings many prayer requests to me along my path. I am involved with my local church and because of that I get a few extra prayer requests as well. I always need to be careful about what I post but try my best to keep everything general as often when I am praying for a marriage or a wife and "this" is the circumstance ...........I usually know 2-3 more circumstances that are VERY similar and need that same prayer.
I thought about that -- how we are all so different and yet -- need the SAME thing.....Jesus.....healing...comfort...peace... clarity....restoration.
It really does not matter WHAT the circumstance is --what matters is that some action is being taken place to seek help....Prayer!
I haven't blogged in almost 10 days. Last night I finally put the finishing touches on a re-post called "Dear Mrs. Alone". That post has content that always takes me to a place of reflection, but the enemy would take me to that place and remind me of pain. However, I am on THIS side of the healing that when Holy Spirit prompts me to share that powerful letter again.....I share it.
A few different prayer requests have me thinking one thought over and over --
Does he get it Lord? Will you please SEND him another man to speak to him and REMIND him of what he is missing?
Lord, would you PLEASE have another speak to him -- and shout at him, "what the hell were you thinking?".....
And then, Lord, please send him someone to speak life into him...
I got to thinking...what if Dear Mrs. Alone was Dear Mr. Alone?
Just a different perspective today.
When is deep pain and crisis with my own marriage, I would consistently ask God to provide for my husband....some way and some how....the KNOWLEDGE of HOW I was thinking, feeling, and walking out my faith in the private times. When you are living in the same house you can sort of 'see' what the other is doing and all.........
But when you are in separate houses, the enemy has more fodder to just throw at you and it becomes a battle of the mind! So like I said, the that letter ( Dear Mrs Alone.) written from a wife truly humbled me the first time I read it, kept me humble as I would read it again and again, and now reminds me of the glory and restoration that we have come from.
Then perhaps....a man needs to read this from a different perspective...
Dear Mr. Alone,
Thank you for your letter. Your letter is something men should read so I am placing it in my book for others to read.
Sincerely, Debi Pearl
Here it the letter:
Dear Mrs. Pearl,
I would like to tell my story . . that others may be warned .. I'm alone but never thought I would be … I made many mistakes in my marriage but I wish someone would of pulled me aside and given me some advice. I hear many young marrieds or men complaining…but they need to seek God’s word, they need to be open to the truth.
The things I did or failed to do were not everyday, constantly overt, or in the face actions. They were subtle, ebbing and flowing, but there, nonetheless.
When my wife acted selfishly at home, allowed her tempter to flare, and sometimes said curse words, and then went to church and acted spiritual, I wish I had prayed positively for her instead of withdrawing a little emotionally from her and letting my cynicism and lack of confidence in her be so manifest. I wish I had openly showed love and acceptance of her for herself, not impatiently wait until she acted right.
When my wife failed the children, failed to have devotions, failed to be spiritual, failed to submit as I lead, I wish I had completely trusted God and maintained unity, honor, reverence, and honored her with a glad and trusting heart. I wish I had the children honoring her and praying for their mom instead of allowing my martyred attitude to manifest itself so openly.
When she made a statement about someone or something, I wish I had not always put her opinion down, letting her know she was wrong again. I wish I had asked her opinion and not assumed I knew what she would say.
When she acted like a boss or too 'girly', I wish I had remained quiet and prayed for her, loved her anyway instead of letting her know what I thought about her and her actions. When she was emotional, I wish I had allowed her to be. When she needed that physical touch, why did I not just GIVE it to her? When she needed to know she was being FOUGHT for......why did I just look at her and think she was silly?
When she tried to make it up to me, for some failure, I wish I had not been so cool, waiting for her to suffer a little more and be more intense and sincere about her apology. When she wanted to talk, why did I not listen? When she just needed to be with me, why did I push her away?
When she spent money I thought we did not have, I wish I had remained quiet and trusted God. I wish I had shown continued confidence in her, regardless of her decisions.
When she wanted me to do something, and I did not want to do it, I wish I had cheerfully complied instead of making her sorry she asked. Hardheadedness is not a trait to endear any woman to a man. When the doctors told me to fix the situation, why did I not fix it -- why did I allow her to become my nurse maid and then held her accountable when it did not work out? Why did I not become the man that she needed?
When she needed a man to believe in her, admire her, approve of her, accept her, regardless of her failures, I wish now that I had been the one to give her those things.
When I thought keeping her faults before her— just small things she did and said— and keeping myself a little standoffish in my approval of her, was the only way she would change, I wish someone would of taken me aside and told me how badly mistaken I was to think that it was my place to apply and keep the pressure on. Oh, I know much had to do with how she kept her self up. Lord, I know I am a visual person and what I would see would either turn me on or off, but I pray I would of realized that my appearance and my words would either turn her on or off. Forgive me Lord.
When she were in the company of family and friends, I wish I had reminded them all of her faults and what she was not doing for me.
When how she felt love did not fill my love tank, and I felt a void emotionally, I wish I had borne all things and hoped all things, and loved her unconditionally, instead of giving up inside and turning to friends, family, or other things for my support and needs. I never saw the need to endear myself to her. I took for granted that she would fulfill the wife’s moral obligation to love me. I wish I had gone to “God’s Communication School” for the whole man.
I wish someone would of told me . .