. . sisters . .

Sisters:

What a blessing sisters are. And yet, I never gave my daughter one - only a brother. Too selfish? Yep. I guess growing up with SO many siblings was a pain at the time, but NOW . .I love the fact that there are so many of us. And we are all different. But, truth be told. . . .pregnancy was not easy for me and after two C-sections I decided that one girl and one boy was enough so Taylor will just have to get used the the idea that one day, her sister - n - law will be the best sister she can have. But THAT is not the topic of this blog . . .

Sisters . .I have three of them. One is right after me in the line of birth and then I had to wait 11 years for a 2nd one. There were 3 brothers in between and her birth was celebrated. I remember changing her diaper, being so proud of her as I was 11 going on 12 and many realized she was not my daughter but my sister and her red hair . .made everyone stop and look.

Diann is a teacher too. Her temper was /is like mine - hot. ( I have since mellowed. ) She has similar interests and likes. She is very creative and artistic. I remember her following me around the one summer my parents were building our family home and she was into everything I had to do. I did a lot of painting, planting of trees and then I did some stenciling on the garage door. My dad wanted it monogrammed but we could not afford a professional so I did it and did a pretty good job on it but I remember that summer -- 'bear' is what we called Diandra, as she would want to help me and she couldn't. Diann was also the one who hopped a plane often in college and visited. She just turned 34 . .and now has 3 of her own kids. Two girls and a boy. It is a joy to watch her be a mother and 'brag' about my new teaching job as she truly appreciates the banter back and forth. However, the best thing about her is that we share a love of our Lord and we can chat about that, fuss about that, and then call each other and pray. I look forward to the day when we can sit by the beach or go to a movie . .and watch our grandkids play . . .and just relax and talk about our teaching days. When she had the time to talk, my kids were little and we were always interrupted. Now when I have the time to talk, her kids ar little and she gets pulled away . .soon . .we will be uninterrupted, that, or we will have to take a childless/grandkid less vacation soon and just have that time. Until then, I can dream about it.

I guess I was very jealous of my other sister when she was born, that I had to be sent to Grandma's for a month . ..so that my mom could adjust to 2 children - under the age of 2. I believe we are 21 months apart. As a kid, she was just always there. We shared a bedroom and she could never fall asleep. I would have to tell her stories. I would get so annoyed. She could have friends over and play and I just never really wanted to play with them so she had her friends to herself. When I wanted friends over, I had to include her as that is what a big sister does. Can you sense a bit of envy? It began that way I guess, being so close. We were the best of buddies or worst enemies for most of our childhood and it stayed that way until a beautiful little boy came into our lives and changed us both - as we needed each other then. Blake was born. Now, I get the pleasure of living in Florida with my sister, and even though we don't spend as much time as I think both of us would like - together -- when we do, we are blessed and it is great. I will never forget last summer at the Gaylord with her - and my boot buying bikini experience . .I don't like to share that with too many but, it is a laugh we will always have.

And then I have a younger one. She was born when I was 19 and I was in college. So when ever I had her - I was embarrassed that people would think she was mine. She grew up so fast . . . I was away, at college and then moved to Florida, I never got to know this one until she was older. Brendan would always comment that she looks like me -- now - she has the opposite color hair and I don't see as much resemblance anymore, but I am never around her enough to see. But -- someday!! I still hope and pray God will bring another one of my sisters to Florida - she, Brittan, came one time and the two hurricanes scared her away. I believe Taylor was the most disappointed as the two of them are only six years apart . .they are truly sisters!! However, I get to spend moment with her and when we are together, I believe we are more alike than different.

Sisters . .it is RARE that we all get to see each other at the same time, it has only happened in our adult lives . about 3-4 times but when it does, watchout. I guess God has HIS best interest at heart in keeping us across the miles . ha ha .

Lord, I thank you for my sisters. I love them dearly and pray that YOU keep them safe - thank you for our recent 'sister' night out and the laughs we had. Lord, bring us more unique times like that - thank you for our mother as well - what a blessing.

Amen.

Sisters . . I pray that each of them, would be Your sheep and listen to YOUR voice, as YOu know them, and they follow YOU - John 10.27 Thank you Lord for my sisters.

. .pain is pain . is pain . .

Pain is pain is pain . . . . What a title for a blog this eve. This is something I have been wanting to write out for some time. Not quite sure 'how' it will turn out . .but I want to say it.

1. Pain is pain. It is very important to know that when some one hurts, whether they are 19, 10 or 45 - they HURT! God feels that hurt. HE has experienced everything that can come our way. Amazing.

2. Pain is pain. Even when you 'think' your life or your situation is harder or more painful . . . .you will be blessed with another story or another friend who DOES have it a bit 'worse' than you. But, your pain is still pain.

3. Pain is Pain. Don't qualify another's pain. Don't make is 'less' by saying you 'can understand' or don't make it less by telling them a different story that you think will make they feel better. Pain is Pain.

It is important to know that God can use pain. HE is soveriegn and 'yes' HE knows exactly what you or I are going through but for some reason -- no HIS glory, HE has esteemed you high enough and strong enough to handle the pain with HIS help.

Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing. Prov. 12.18.

Pain is pain. Please. Whether you are the one suffering a loss, a death, a hurt . . .

Whether you are the one who is watching the other suffer a loss, a death or a hurt . .

Whether you are the child of one who is watching the loved one suffer a loss, a death, a betrayal, a hurt or a violation . .pain is pain.

Everyone hurts. Most times, we just need someone to listen and hug. Most times we just need to know there is hope. Most times, we don't want to explain . . . .or have it explained . .we just want to cry and fuss and yell!! (personally -- I do that with God . HE knows already )

Lord, forgive me for when I 'thought' I was helping and not allowing YOU to work a miracle in a life. Lord, forgive me for being too stuck on my own pain to not see the pain in others. Lord, thank you for providing the people that loved me . .even when all I wanted to do was 'cuss'. Lord, thank you for breaking me, and allowing this pain . . ..I want to be used by YOU and I want to bring hope to others.

From a wise mind comes wise speech: the words of the wise are persuasive. Prov. 16.23

I think it is very important to look beyond ourselves. However, we can allow the loved ones around us to minister to us when we need it. Get the help. Allow yourself to grieve and seek HIM for true healing. But then, looy beyond ourselves. As, I have found that when I look to help others, my pain DOES become a little 'less' to me.

I believe there are many hurting people all around me. Lord, let me comfort when I need to - let me see with YOUR eyes, what I need to say, do, or how I should pray.

Lord, I have learned MANY things in this time of my 'blue period' but now I am in the green and growing period . .so teach me much. Help me to see that I never 'level' one's pain. Help me show empathy each time. Lord, only let me open my mouth if YOU direct it.

I am so thank ful for your healing. I am so thankful for the work you are doing in my life -- in Brendan's life . in Taylor's life . .In Brittany's life . .In Paige's life . . In Darlene's life . . In Debi's life . .In Linda's life . . . . this list could go on and on . . . .seriously . . .I am humbled and honored. Lord, You are a deep mystery. and I won't try to fathom it. Please continue to use me in a mighty way.

I love you Lord. - Michelle

And PS . .I pray that whomever reads this - is blessed. Like I said - may I never 'level' pain - ever again. Thank you for teaching me this . . . I am humbled.

. . be anxious for nothing . .

What a picture - right? I believe that one has to truly believe that their idenity is in Christ Jesus or they would not be able to 'publish' this .. . .for just anyone to see. I get to see my nieces and nephews about once a year . ..they range in age from 3 - 12 and each time, I find someway to 'relate' to them and so they will remember me. This is Nevaeh, she belongs to my brother Christopher. She is 4, she is a blonde beauty and has two older brothers and a sister right on her

heels . .who was just 2. Anyway, the scripture for today that got to me was from Phil 4:6:

Be anxious for nothing but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let you requests be made known to God.

And I was also touched by this one too from Proverbs 27.18:

He who waits on his master will be honored.

Waiting is very hard, believe me, I can give you a few examples of when I just could not wait and other times when HE blessed me so because I waited. It is a daily thing. I wait each year for the opportunity to go North and visit with my siblings and their families. I waited over nine months for the birth of my daughter and I could not wait the nine months for the birth of our son. I sort of like 'sped' up that delivery and even though other complications could of interferred, I had to get over tremendous guilt when he was born with lungs that were not quite ready to breath!

Oh Lord, be anxious for nothing . . not for what tomorrow brings . .not for how my son will behave . .not for these last 10-12 pounds to leave . .not for what the Holy Spirit will show . .not for answered prayer for this or that one . .not for . .the list could go on and on.

In the past few days, the Enemy has been trying to get me to be anxious .. to worry . .cause things are not changing fast enough . ..like the house has not sold yet . .we can't do this cause of this . . and when this happens . .then this . . .. .oh Lord. Anxious.

But in everything, by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving . . .

Oh Lord, I am so so so very thankful for WHAT has occured, WHAT has been answered, and the glory that turns up each day, no each moment, is tremendous.

But let your requests be know to God. How refreshing to know, I can come to you anytime and always and make those requests know. Amen.

Lord, thank You for Your word, for the girls in our Daughters of the King cell group, may each one of them and their extended families have needs met, hearts healed, and may their light for YOU shine brightly to the ones You bring to them. Lord, specifically for the one whose Grandma is preparing to meet you. Lord, for the one being a single mom - help. Lord for the several who are dealing with hurts from their childhoood .. may they believe that Freedom is around the corner. Lord, our home needs to sell. I know YOU will do it, make it a quick sell, follow it through and provide a place to rent until we can build the new one. Lord, I am so delighted that You have given me complete peace for this situation, the Enemy has not even tried to trip me up in this area - as he knows . .as I have declared it. Perfect Peace. Lord, for Brendan as he handles that total situation. Lord, for the continued restoration, and reform that is needed within the four walls of our home . .the cavaities of our hearts . .all of ours and for the need to love you like no one else. May they want YOU as much as they possible could. Lord, for the family up North and here . that are struggling, meet needs, open and close doors, and may they too SEEK YOU like never before. Lord for my dear sweet warriors with YOU . .and our journey that has been such a roller coaster in the past 8 months ..provide guidance and a clear path. Lord for the beautiful NEW people you have placed in our path -- wow, thanks. Bless them. And Lord, as the summer winds down - may I feel a complete and total rest in YOU and prepare me for the new job in August. Lord, last year, I did not want to think about our anniversary as it came and well . .oh well . .this year, year, as now we have been married for 24 years as of the 15th .. .and we begin our 25th year of marriage . .Lord, you know the plans for us . .they are exceedingly and abundantly more than I could ever imagine. I am just saying -- I am READY to be wowed -- I know you want that for me. Thank you. I am claiming it now- thank you. Amen.

Lord, help me not be anxious for nothing .. .and I will continue to pray with thanksgiving and I will continue to make my requests known to YOU. And thank you for the gift of understanding that waiting on you . .is the best thing ever. Amen.

- Your daughter, your beautiful and perfect princess, Michelle

the world according to Tucker . . . .

This is Tucker . . . my nephew. He is almost 4 years old or he is 4, I forget. There are so many nieces and nephews now running around Wisconsin that I get confused. He is very bright and tickeled me so. I must relate a conversation I witnessed:

T: Dad, arr we going campin or what?

My brother Trevor: Yes, Tuck, we are going, one more day of Nana's and then a day of being with me and then we will go.

T: But Dad, we have to be ready. I need my toys, I need to get my tractors and I need my floaties.

Trevor: Yes, Tuck, we will get all of those things.

Auntie Chell pipes in: So, where are you going to sleep Tucker?

That question seemed to send Tucker into another train of thought . . .

T: Dad, who is coming?

Trevor: WEll, me, your mom, Tanner, Elise, and Silly Grandma . . .

** note, now, Tucker is taking his fingers and counting as his dad is listing all who is coming and pretty soon, he runs OUT of fingers .

T: Stop Dad . .we can't have all those people camping - we just can't . we don't have room . .

Tucker gets really frustrated and seeks some sort of understanding . . . .

At this point, as the finger counting took a few trials, he would start with one, and then when my brother said another name, he had to start over with one and then 'two' . .and this proceeded and so my brother slowed down a bit, but with each person coming . .he had to restart the count. He is strickly a facts sort of kid - at least that is what I saw and heard in the few short days I was in his presense.

I can't say it enough - how much joy I received watching him calucate and figure things out. and then to see him get so frustrated when he ran out of fingers. and shouted, "no, they can't come there is NO room".

He is very social and when we were at camp that one day, had no problems making new friends in the pool, but when he accidently fell onto the pool floor and scratched up his eyes . .he became the little boy who needed ice on the eyes and his daddy. Classic. And his daddy rescused him.

Oh how Our LORD does that too . .I think we count and calculate 'what' we think God is doing . and then HE addes in a new element or problem. It sort of seems we run out of fingers at times and they cry out to God -- stop . ..I can't handle this anymore.

Today, while Brendan was making the bed and I was finishing my face, the TV stopped on Joyce Meyers and we both distinctly heard, "many people--- when they get trouble think. . .wow, how God is missing from this problem, when in reality is was our doing -- our problem cause we did not put God into it in the first place". She reminded us that if we are 'in' a problem . . .and we are not dead . then God is working. God has all the facts. HE knows the beginning and the end. We are quick to give up we need to stay the course.

This verse today hit me: 2 Chronicles 16.9

For the eyes of the Lord range throughout the Earth to strengthen those whose hearts are fully committed to Him.

It was so cute. So innocent. Such a 3 year old brain . ..He wanted to make sure he had all the facts and was prepared. I can do a really good impression of Tucker if you get close to me.

I am fully committed to HIM. I know a time when I wasn't and I can see a time when I tried to be, but in the past months . . the joy of the Lord, has been to know that I know- being in the CENTER of HIS will is not a penalty and being in the CENTER of HIS will brings such fruit and joy even when there is trouble.

I wish I was closer to Tucker, to see him more often than just once a year, but I will TRUST in a GOD big enough to place 'many Auntie Chell's' into his path as well, as trust his parents to teach and foster a 'heart that is fully committed' to HIM.

LOrd, for all of my nephews, nieces, and family - extended, whether a blood relative or a relative by YOUR doing . .. ..Lord, for all of the children around me, may they see Good real facts of your people . . .living for you . being real . . for you . . may they not be foolish and seek man to help them with their problems but YOU Lord. It states in the 15th Chapter of Chronicles that . . when we seek you - we find you . .rather YOU find us. May I always seek you, bless Tucker and all the REST of them too -- may they SEEK you and have a heart that is fully committed to you.

Thanks for my mini-family vacation up north -- YOU blessed me so Lord, I praise YOUR name!

- michelle

when we think we can hide from God ....

God had me UP this am, early. I prayed but thinking and listening to HIM is more of what was going on. There is something I need to express.

For so long, I would hear preachers, teachers, and even priests say, "God is watching" .. "HE knows everything". .. and I could understand that. I mean - sure, HE is GOD. . .but, did that change certain behaviors?

no.

Did that change what I did at times?

no.

What did finally change me?

I love rock and roll music. I love a good beat. I can dance. I loved the movie GREASE until I watched it with my 4 year old and 'finally' got the meaning of some of the songs, and the meaning of the script and then I was ashamed that I bragged to Taylor about HOW good this movie was -- it was a classic.

I read children's books. That is my passion. Others read adult books - romance and stuff but I never got into that. Then one day, someone gave me this book about this woman Franchesca and I read it within 24 hours . ..it was about a woman who had an affair -- but it was "ok" .. cause the author made it seem so real and she deserved to be happy. I bragged and bragged about it and made my mother-n-law sit with me in a theater and watch it. THEN - I realized, how the message was not very good, and I was ashamed I had asked her to come and watch it. I remember her asking me, "you really liked this book?". And I had to say - "yes" .. but I guess you have to read the book to appreciate the movie.

I remember using the words "Jesus Christ" and "Damn" so frequently as a kid, that it was second nature. I knew I was not suppose to say those words, but did God really hear me? I mean, was HE everywhere?

Where am I going with this?

I think, or in my case, I never fully understood that GOD is everywhere -- HE is our Daddy, HE is our Creator, HE is GOD. ..... . .I don't think I ever understood HIS holiness.

I was thinking, when a boy meets a girl or a girl meets a boy and that initial 'puppy love' thing starts, you go crazy. You do whatever it takes. You don't eat, you think, you dream about them, you watch what you say around them, YOU are in love with that person and you want to PLEASE and SERVE them.

So, why is it that we don't do that with God?

I mean, Why is it that you can see - some don't want to spend time with God. Some think that God is not watching and will allow this or that? Some really think that they can get away with something. Some just simply don't love God.

Maybe rather, they have never allowed themselves to FALL in LOVE with God?

Just thinking -- just saying. I can relate. I know I never really understood what it meant to be in love with God.

Because Now . . .I don't want to hurt HIS feelings.

I don't want to listen to that crud on the music station from Rhinna and listen to her say that 'chains and whips excite me' ....if it really does, that is for her and her husband -- not the millions of people she sings too and the children who recite that song and have NO clue as to what they are saying. But, some of us DON'T shut off that music - we allow it.

But I think that many of us just think -- well, God understands.

I don't want to watch that movie that disrespects my DADDY and hurt HIS feelings. So, do I buy the ticket for the movie or do I pass? Do I actually say to the one who asks, "no, that movie is not for me?". Or do I just slink away?

I don't want to see visions or images of 'body parts' that are meant for only the eyes of the person's other half . namely their spouse on TV or in a magazine and yet, I still buy those 'rag' magazines at times and I still will catch myself watching TMZ or Entertainment Tonight as it is news --right?

Oh Lord, I can see where you are opening my eyes. I don't want to become one of these people who become so prudish but I also want to be a leader, I want to be one that stands UP for YOU. I don't want to hurt your feelings.

I know that you see all, you hear all, and you know our hearts. The way you made me -- I can't listen to certain stuff or see certain stuff without going down the wrong path -so, keep me strong. KEEP me away from that stuff. Thank you for shielding me from so much. Give me the strength and boldness to bolt when I need to but also, please give me the compassion and love to explain to that loved one - I can't listen or watch this. As, it offends my Daddy and I love HIM too much to go backwards.

Lord, the scripture where you state -- what come out is from our hearts .. .. or the scripture of what to focus on .whatever is pure . . .lovely .. .

Lord, that is what I want to focus on. That is why you have me up today -- I believe. Maybe another reading this will be blessed -- if not, that is OK - but me, expressing it, helps me to see and understand others.

Others are not in love with YOU - .... . YET . .. . .help me to love them no matter what. Help me to show YOUR unfailing love, no matter what. HELP me to have patience with their journey - like YOU did with me.

Thank you, for when they discover this through YOU and your H/Spirit - wow, the revelation will come. And they too, won't want to listen to crap or watch crud.

I am just saying.

I know I can't HIDE from you, even thought I still catch myself at times, trying to explain things to YOU and rationalize them. I realize, I can't hide.

I hear you Lord.

I love you.

michelle

iron sharpens iron. . God speaks through Godly friends

This is my pal Debi ... . . . in the middle of her 'boys' at Word of Life Camp. I just marvel at how God brings people together at the right time for the right things. . . . if we are willing to accept and watch and listen and allow them to speak into our lives. Today she wrote something that changed my mood -- changed my outlook and it was God speaking through her -- thank you Debi. Iron does sharpen Iron . . .that is in scripture .. need to find the address!









Psalm 119: 81-88


My Soul longs for your salvation;


I hope in your word.


My eyes long for your promise;


I ask, "When will you comfort me?"


For I have become like a wineskin in the smoke,


yet I have not forgotten your statues.


How long must you servant endure?


When will you judge those who persecute me?


The insolent have dug pitfalls for me;


they do not live according to your law.


All Your commandments are sure:


they persecure me with falsehood; help me!


They have almost made an end of me on earth,


but I have not forsaken your precepts.


In your steadfast love give me life,


that I may keep the testimonies of your mouth. ESV











And Debi commented:





Wow! This is great! There are so many times when the enemy SEEMS to have the upper hand. It FEELS that way anyway, even though I know it is not true. It is those days when the depression is real and it FEELS like it is not going to ever go away . . . It is in those days when the circumstances FEEL like they won't change . . . and it is on THOSE days when it FEELS the enemy is closer than God. Hallelujah -- that is ONLY FEELS that wasy and it is NOT that WAY!!





Hallelujah I can still put hope in HIS Word and obey even thought I don't FEEL like it. God's Word is ALWAYS trustworthy and HIS unfailing love, yes, HIS UNFAILING love ALWAYS comes through and HE defeats the enemy in my life and brings hope and love and victory and power and forgiveness and freedom!!





Hallelujah!





FREEDOM is a wonderful thing!





** reposted (copied) from Debi Large's commentary on her quiet time on 7-5-11.





Thank you Lord for speaking to me . .I have typed and retyped this now 3x and my FEELINGS have changed, and YOUR word has renewed my hope and my depression has decreased . . Lord, YOUR unfailing love . . .take the time to speak to me. She had no idea and yet YOU did. Thank you Lord. That was a direct word from you.





I will share that this eve with my girls .. ..as YOUR Word is so powerful and YOUR servants speak loudly for you. Bless her today Lord. Amen.





- michelle

. . family . . . this one particular day . .

Smiles .. love that.

Taylor . .TP . .my constant source of strength, laughs, and she always keeps me in line.

She is a breath of fresh air, a light in this world. She is a warrior for her friends and our family, her love for Jesus speaks louder than anything. She is esteemed and highly favored.
Her love for her brother goes without saying.


Hunter . .HP . my jokester, my 'blond' Brendan with the ability to get me to my knees faster than anyone else. The soccer man who has taken a rest this summer as he is now 16 and drives!

His love for others and family are very evident. He is a quiet warrior but deep inside, I know he longs for so much more. His patience with his little cousins and his polite manner wins many hearts.

On this particular day, we were celebrating the wedding of a family friend. Taylor was most impressed by the Christ Centered ceremony and the love expressed and the prayers of blessing that was poured onto the two of them.

On this particular day, Taylor witnessed a wedding participant speaking in tongues over Lauren and her husband and was so blessed and impressed.

On this particular day, I said good bye to a dear sweet new friend that forever has changed my life and I wished her well as she moved away to begin her new life with her husband and child.

On this particular day, I wished a happy marriage to another friend that was saying I do about the same time Lauren was.

On this particular day, I asked God for a wedding like this for both of my kids.

On this particular day, I prayed and prayed for strength.

On this particular day, I asked God for a miracle.

On this particular day, God was moving in more ways than I could ever imagine.

On this particular day, God showed HIS mercy and poured out such blessings.

On this particular day, one took his life but others found theirs.

On this particular day, God brought beauty out of the ashes with another family and a healing began, and no one would of predicted 'how' that could of happened, but God knew.

On this particular day, one reflected, another fasted, one prayed, and one gave Glory to God all because I asked. I am /I am so humbled.

On this particular day, freedom came to several.

On this particular day, Jesus spoke to hearts.

On this particular day, the Enemy tried to win . .but he took several blows to his army . . he won't win. He won't. The Enemy has been defeated . .he just does not want to give up yet. But that is Ok - God wins.

I pray that I don't ever forget this particular day.

I pray that every day . .would be THAT great in HIS kingdom.

I love you Lord, thank you for my family -- all of them.
- your daughter, michelle