Another Guest blogger - When God answers prayer.....

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This is just me....  

Sometimes people write for therapy.   Some people write to just be heard.  Some are paid to write...others write to make you laugh and others still write to teach you something.   That is why I write.  I pray that as I write, it will make you laugh, cause you to pray a little more or even have hope to believe in a miracle;  but I also like to share what  God has been teaching me.    So I blog.  I feel compelled to write.  When a few days pass and I don't blog -- I miss it.  I pray against 'checking' my numbers.  (Checking to see how many have visited the blog site and then comparing one blog to another.)  The enemy would LOVE to use this against me and at times, I have to recheck my heart.  

I have made mistakes.  I have shared too much at times, and I believe I have been too IN YOUR FACE as well.   I also know, some won't read my blogs anymore -- because it does bring conviction but also -- they just don't care and THAT is ok too.  Before I publish any blog, I ask God once again -- is this for YOU or for ME?   And I believe that when HE no longer has me writing and publishing for HIS purpose...I will know!  As, I will stand accountable for every word - one day.  

I also love to read blogs.  I don't read every blog I come across -- I stick with Christian sites and so forth.  I have a few bloggers that I will read but I also look for new writers.  

I pray that as you read this, and I am speaking to you - the reader - I am well aware of your time.
  Time is precious and often people won't read a blog because it is too long or it just does not interest them.  But I pray that if you were led here because you know me or because God directed you to read this ....then I pray that the time spent was indeed WORTH it.    A blog post was a way GOD spoke to me when I needed to know there was hope.  So...it is kind of dear to my heart.  

And, I am well aware that my blogs are long.  They just are.  However, some of the best blogs I have read, and some of God's best stories in HIS Word...are a little longer than a 2 minute read.  

Facebook is dear to me as well, as in a time when I  felt so totally alone and broken, God used that medium for several to contact me and HE orchestrated it and it ...a that moment...saved a life - mine.  I was ready to quit.  

So, earlier this week, I had a sweet woman of God write up what she had shared at our recent Women's Breakfast and I shared it.  I was so blessed by the analogy of a Toaster that I asked her to write it up so I could share!!  

I have been privileged and honored to work with many many women of God and often I will say to them.."you need to write a blog".   I have seen God work so tremendously with a broken spirit and it is hopeful and inspiring.  Their stories inspire me....so I must share!  

Several of my blogs -- I know have inspired  others.   Those people have told me so.  I have been told I should submit them to be published  -- like through Crosswalk.com or another Faith based publications.  

I admit, I have not ventured into that -- I have submitted a few to one publication but they were not published.  I guess I got gun shy.  However, I know that often it takes many submissions ...to be published.  

But anyway ----  here is another guest blogger. 

 For today, she is a mystery writer.  She has written before. I know she will write again.    Today's blog is for her... she wrote this.  She has record of how God is speaking to her right now. However, her words and her insight are timeless and for others to read and soak in as well. 

But tonight, this is for another and it was for me -- as I read her words, I was reminded of HOW God romanced me and brought me back to life.  

As you read and I pray you will READ it all -- I hope that you would feel that relationship with God as well. One so close, that you would not go back.    I could relate to her and as she wrote and  I answered..."NOPE, I am NOT going back!"  

To you - my readers-- 

Thank you --  for reading my blog, for allowing me this format.  Thank you, as if you are one of those faithful ones that have signed up for the email link and  get the blog first...  you will probably understand the pain in  this blog about answered prayers. 

Thank you -- if you are a reader because I share this on FB, I pray that the time spent reading this - is indeed -- not wasted.  However, I know that God will indeed speak to you as well.  

I am humbled that I am able to share this. 

I am humbled and honored that she would let me share this.  

 This mystery writer  is in the middle of a storm -- but she is fighting like a true warrior knowing God will win!     And I know that I know - God is indeed looking down and saying, "that is one of mine, well done girl, well done my good and faithful servant". 

 humbled to be in HIS service, Michelle   

When God answers prayer but it doesn’t look anything like you expected

I have a confession to make….

I am a mess.

Simply put. I’m a mess.

I make so many failures as a wife, mother, step mother, friend, sister, co-worker, etc. etc. etc.

I am a woman living in a sinful world; I make so many mistakes daily but I’m striving for the Kingdom of God and I’m so impressed with God’s ability to not only forgive me but pull me into His presence and love on me.

The primary focus of my prayers for over a year have been to transform and increase my marriage and my family.

Daily I have prayed protection over each member of my family as well as the sanctity of my marriage.

I was remembering my prayers this morning as I lay in my bed listening to my child lightly breathing - my child  would let out a little chuckle over whatever dream was keeping my child  so joyfully captivated.

I thought about some of the other prayers I’ve prayed over the course of this year and realized they are being answered… but in some rather painful ways right now.

Lead me with wisdom and discernment, Lord. Take me deeper with You, Lord. Guide me. Grant me wisdom and help me to become more selfless. Remove fear. Lord, help me to fight, to hold on. Strengthen my faith. Learn patient endurance. Make me into a wife my husband will trust, love and cherish. Remove me and place YOU into every area. Change me from the inside out. Reckless obedience in God. Discipline me with hasty compliance and submission. To be humble. Remove all self-righteous lies the enemy whispers. Purge me, Lord. Circumcise my heart. Face what I fear (being alone) and become fearless. Search me, Lord. Deal with me swiftly of anything stopping me from the full potential You have for me.  Lord, show me any unforgiveness, bitterness, grieving the Holy Spirit, bring it to light and cleanse me. May I abide in You. I want to be a Christ-like fragrance rising up to God.

These have been my sincere prayers this past year.

This is the raw revelation to those prayers.

We never truly recognize how much a mess we are until God starts to deal with us.

When He starts to peel back the layers of the deepest parts of our souls and pulls out all of the ‘ugly’.

This is such a painful process.

This morning as I lay in bed, I had to ask myself one question.

In this valley. This dark pit I’m in, this immeasurable pain, while God is refining me through the fire. Would I ever turn back? Could I ever go back to the person I used to be?

You see, the enemy wasn’t trying to tear me down when I wasn’t serving the Lord.

It was when I started chasing after the very thread of His robe that the enemy started taking notice.

He realized that when God started working in me, in my husband, in our family, that we would be a mighty force to be reckoned with.

So, he attacks.

And… the Lord fights… and He also allows this time to take me through the fiery furnace to remove all of the dirt and soot stopping me from my fullest potential in Him. To…. Remind me….. I cannot operate in my own strength or knowledge. It comes from Him… To humble me.

To break me. So I can turn and fully rely on Him and Him alone.

2 Corinthians 12:7-10 The Message (MSG)

Because of the extravagance of those revelations, and so I wouldn’t get a big head, I was given the gift of a handicap to keep me in constant touch with my limitations. Satan’s angel did his best to get me down; what he in fact did was push me to my knees. No danger then of walking around high and mighty! At first I didn’t think of it as a gift, and begged God to remove it. Three times I did that, and then he told me,

My grace is enough; it’s all you need.

My strength comes into its own in your weakness.

Once I heard that, I was glad to let it happen. I quit focusing on the handicap and began appreciating the gift. It was a case of Christ’s strength moving in on my weakness. Now I take limitations in stride, and with good cheer, these limitations that cut me down to size—abuse, accidents, opposition, bad breaks. I just let Christ take over! And so the weaker I get, the stronger I become.

I have looked back over the past 6 years of my life. The valleys I’ve been in. The struggles. The pain. These times, God’s still small voice was there. He was loving me. He was strengthening me. He was refining me.

He still does.

And He disciplines.

A loving father will allow his children free will to choose their own way. He will let them make mistakes. Then in his unfailing love, he will reveal the error of our ways, he will discipline and he will wipe the slate clean. That’s what a loving father does.

This is what God continues to do in my life.

But it’s one done out of the complete, unfailing love of a genuine father that wants to first reveal, discipline and cleanse of anything.

Could I ever turn back? Could I ever return to the ways of my past? Could I ever go somewhere where I could not hear His voice or sense His presence?

If He could deliver me from my pain right now, would I do it if it meant I’d never hear Him or feel Him again?

As Moses said In Exodus 33:15 "If your Presence does not go with us, do not send us up from here.”

No, Lord. Don’t leave me. I’ll stay in the fire. I’ll allow You to cleanse me and purge me. I’ll allow You to do Your work in and through me.

I could never turn back.

To think of You not being the very center of my life frightens me.

So, thank you, Lord.

Thank you that You are my discipline, You are the refiner of my soul, You cleanse me of my flesh making me into Your likeness. Thank you, You are answering my prayers. You are strengthening.

It is the faith planted and grown from my grandmother and mother that now lives in me (2 Timothy 1:5) that I will stand through the fire. I will walk through the trials. I will submit in total obedience to my Lord and Savior to refine me.

For HIS Kingdom.

James 1:2-6

2 My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials,  3 knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience.  4 But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing.  5 If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him.  6 But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for he who doubts is like a wave of the sea driven and tossed by the wind.

Lord, You are answering my prayers. Not in the way I expected, wanted or anticipated.

This is Your will.

I will submit.

Your obedient daughter anchored in You.