There -- I said it.
It was hard.
But I also saw her husband, a very strong warrior for his bride and he was doing everything humanly possible to help her feel better. And as we have prayed with him, he too believes that a miracle will happen can happen and will happen on THIS side of heaven.
Her mom was there. Her mother - n - law was there too as well. After a brief visit and prayer I left. But, I prayed the rest of the ENTIRE evening--
and I WOKE praying and even this morning ---in every spare moment I said different things and asked God different questions -- and prayed. Read. Thought. Prayed.
God, are you there?
God -- why is the healing taking so long?
God - what should of of done differently?
God - did I mess up?
God -- why did you give me that prophetic word, I am claiming it was You and not my wishes --
God -- what can I do?
God - what do you want me to do?
God - nothing is impossible with YOU -- nothing.
Last night on a motorcycle ride with my husband, I thanked God for the many blessing of favor I can see and touch right in front of me. I thought of a lunch date that took place and conversations of weddings, babies, and even the latest of Loo Lo La Rue ( sorry if I mess of that name) -- and then I quickly come back to reality. I also realized that just the slightest movement or me shifting on the cycle as my husband speedometer was at 70mph-- would also place us both in a very different spot. Life is so fragile. We only get this one life. And this life is a temporary one.
I know life will go on. I know that Rebekah loves her Lord, the Lord...and indeed heaven would be a much better place than trying to alleviate the extreme pain she is experiencing and I felt helpless......
Rebekah has already done so much for the Kingdom of God and I asked God again -- why?
I wanted to pray, take her quickly -- as a mother -- seeing a daughter suffer is so very hard and yet, I could not say those words. The Lord knows me heart. All I really could do with comfort was pray in my prayer language. And peace took over and today, I believe the Holy Spirit is allowing me to write again because others are trying to come to reality and believe ....or...want her suffering to end.
Probably her sister -- who on this day some 20+ years ago -- was born. Beauty and life was brought into the Bishop family in the form of a baby. And then today as she ( Hannah ) turns a year older -- I know that I know her only birthday present right now, would be to see her sister turn a corner -- to see the healing she has called forth to manifest.
The enemy does not want victory. But I am going to stand on the belief - it is coming!
Last night I texted Jared --
I wrote: Jared: you are praying and seeking God - you are the godly authority in that home, that pain she is in - is just a spirit - look in her eyes and command it to leave her body in the authority you have in Jesus. Remind your wife that fear is a spirit and you have commanded it to leave - invite the Holy Spirit to fill everyone with you in that room to believe in HOPE.
Speak to that cancer Jared - you are her other half...YOU are one with her - speak to it as her husband and take the authority and command it to flee. You have done that, but do it again -- remind your wife there is no condemnation in Christ Jesus that she has more work to do on this earth and then ask God to grant you favor and thank Him for the new blood he is cleansing her with, In Jesus name. Amen.
While on the Harley, I asked God why I felt a bit defeated and he gently asked me, "did you really believe you had the authority to command that fear in her eyes to go?"
Now...if you are reading this -- bear with me.....
"As a believer, I have authority-- its value rests on the power that is behind that authority. God himself is the power behind our authority! The devil and his forces are obliged to recognize our authority! The believer who thoroughly understands that the power of God is backing him can exercise his authority and face the enemy fearlessly. Authority is delegated power.
Sam Wigglesworth speaks and tells a story of a lady coming out of her apartment and her dog follows her and she says, "honey you will have to go back" but the dog does not move. At the same time a bus driver arrives stomps her foot and yells, "GET" and the dog tucks his tail between his legs and took off. Wigglesworth said he hollered out loud without even thinking, "that is the way you have to do with the devil!". - From Believer's Authority by Kenneth E. Hagin
So, as I was riding, I could hear the Lord remind me, "you did not take authority - you did not believe - you were so overwhelmed by everyone in the room and the condition her physical state that you froze".
And if felt 'better' and yet -- I wanted to go back and .......
I admit Lord, I claimed that mighty prayer several weeks ago, I wrote that blog, and I allowed the spirit of FEAR to walk right in. But God.....
Today in doing some study - I read in Acts 14. Paul and Barnabas were sharing the gospel and Paul looked into the eyes of a man who had never walked and said, "STAND on your FEET!". And with that - the many jumped up and walked. Acts. 14. 9-10. With that, all the people around felt they were the gods brought down from heaven and wanted to give sacrifice onto them --
And then at the end of the chapter -- vs. 19....the Jews stoned Paul and left him for dead. But the disciples gathered around him and he got up and went back into the city. And then Paul returned to Antioch and preached the good news.
The Lord is so merciful. Gracious. I am humbled.
I believe we can get back up and keep going. I am still believing in faith that Rebekah's healing will manifest here on this side of heaven.
Can we dare ask God to bless the work of our hands? yes... Lord, may this blog bring encouragement and the guts to one to take authority over a spirit of fear or a rejection spirit and call it out --
Can we dare ask God to give us favor? yes... Lord, extend favor to all of us that are praying for a miracle in Rebekah -- let us see the manifestation of Your healing power as soon as possible. Lord, the doctors say to make her comfortable -- I say- REVIVE her Lord -- replace those cancer cells with supernatural healing and perfected cells. Yes, LORD - I know you will do this the instant she sees Jesus -- but we ask YOU do it HERE -- on earth as it will be in heaven.... here - now.
Can we ask God to develop an enlightened heart in me? yes.. Lord, give me through your spirit all the wisdom and knowledge needed -- so when You call me to go and visit Pookie again -- YOU will be the words I speak....
Can we pursue in love our spiritual gifts? yes...Lord, I believe one of the gifts you are manifesting in both Jared and Rebekah is healing...the gift of Your healing touch and through Matthew the promised son of their union -- a great and glorious work can be accomplished in this community of believers -- do it Lord -- and thank you.
Can Hannah have a joyous birthday?? yes....Lord, bless Hannah and give her the desires of her heart -- as it is Rebekah's prayer that Hannah love and serve you; and I believe through the witness of her sister -- Hannah is indeed Yours and she will do outstanding works through You Lord...bless her today on her birthday!
And Lord, thank you for Jared -- I am asking that You God - the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may you give Jared the spirit of wisdom and revelation so that He may know YOU better and he may know what to do next- I pray also the eyes of his heart may be enlightened in order that he would know the hope to which You have called him.
Lord, yesterday as he said, "I know it hurts baby" and she replied, "no you don't".... I felt Your loving arms around both of them....as I do believe it hurts him just as much as it hurts her right now - like a mother that wants her baby's pain to stop.... Lord the POWER that raised Jesus from the dead....LORD THAT power is within our hands and I Pray that Jared is encouraged and knows and understands the authority he has to call on that power to help his wife....Lord, Your will be done and Your will is for healing...but we continue to ask and believe that it can be on THIS side of heaven -- for YOUR glory and YOUR Kingdom we rest in Your -- In Jesus name --Amen!
YES, I still believe it could really happen.
It will happen.
- humbled ....