I have written a blog about expectations before.
Today, Holy Spirit reminded me of something. So, I went back to that blog and am looking at it, reading it with a new pair of eyes ---
As a kid, I had GREAT expectations. Prince Charming was to swoop me off my feet. My family would become that model family...eventually - like the Osmond's and that I would live happily ever after.
The picture may bring back awesome memories or perhaps it brings back an illustration where you counted on the other person to continue to 'teeter tot' with you -- only to find yourself let down and in the dirt because he or she quickly found a different friend to play with or just simply GOT off without giving you the time to prepare.....???
Sometimes I think the family with live with and the work family we work with become so close to us that when the expectation I had of them is shattered or broken....it hurts so much WORSE!
My therapist/counselor had to remind me and I had to retrain my brain...if I have NO expectations for some human behaviors...than....when something does not appear or transpire...there is NO unmet expectations and no hurts....
And YES...I sought a counselor for a year and then a professional therapist for a year as well. If you have never read my blogs -- this is my therapy. I totally believe in allowing a trained professional to hear my heart. But I also believe there needs to be godly counsel and prayer. However, there is NO shame in seeking help. I can tell you more often than not...once a sin or problem is revealed and brought to the light -- the power is taken away from it. And....it can't hurt you in that same way - ever again. Satan will try some new ways to cast doubt and continue to throw the firey darts, but it is different!
For example, if I am expecting flowers for an anniversary and I don't get them....then my feelings are hurt and I will probably react. But, if I have NO expectations for flowers..when they come -- I can be pleasantly surprised. And I must add in here, since I have changed my perspective on gifts and getting them, my husband has listened to Holy Spirit within him and has blessed with me many a sweet note, or another comes to tell me of his words of affirmation. So, ladies... wives... there is HOPE!
This really is NOT knew info.
I am willing to bet that as you are reading this, you have been told the same thing. Or perhaps you have been told to LOWER your expectations. When we look to humans ( a spouse, family member, child) to meet needs...to fulfill a destiny....or to provide something for us, we will almost always be disappointed.
Humans fail us.
People will fail us.
Our spouses will fail us.
Our Pastors will fail us.
Our friends will fail us.
Our boss will fail us.
Or perhaps when we look to a colleague or a peer that we work with each day, who has a professional license to educate children and not to harm them --- when we are disappointed in their performance --- cause they are not living up to the expectations we all agreed upon?? THAT hurts.
All we really can ONLY count on or look to is our Heavenly Father...for HE lives up to our expectations.
I am reminding myself today:
I can expect Jesus to always interceed for me on my behalf.
I can expect God to always love me unconditionally.
I can expect the Lord to hear my prayers.
He touched their eyes and said, "According to your faith will it be done to you." Matt 9.29
I can expect the Lord to move mountains.
I can expect miracles from the Lord.
I can expect HIS will to be done within my life.
I can expect that I will find ALL answers to whatever I need to know with the pages of HIS Word.
I can expect that God will do what GOD wants to do.
I am God, and there is no other: I am God and there is none like me. Isaiah 46.9
I can expect that I am whom God says I am ...through Him.
I can expect much from my best friend...the Lord and the Holy Spirit.
I can expect the Holy Spirit to constantly speak to me, comfort me, and teach me.
I can expect an eternal home...
-- be eternally minded -- this place is temporary ---
But when a colleague fails us, when a professional we trusted in fails us, when we see something posted by a person we are mentoring and it hurts us....... I think we must GO back to placing all expectations before HIM.
However, I think it is OK to grieve for a brief moment, maybe even kick at a box kicking dummy as we have worked so hard and prayed so hard with this one......and yet, he or she failed us.
Place any and all expectation -- in the LIGHT of HIS presence... Measure it all against heaven and eternity. Place every expectation within HIS hands.
And with that, I can forgive the temporary stupidity....
I can forgive the way another treated another...
---and I can get back to speaking life and praying over that one or situation and believe that God is at work and I will wait on HIM.
Peace came. The "situation"...may not of turned out as I had hoped, as the person may of failed the expectations I believe I was to see....but God will make something beautiful out of it.
And I trust my LORD to WOW me...to work it out and that... I will look back at this time and situation and know that I know -- and see ...HOW HE moved.
So, after I have said ALL of that, and I pray I have not rambled but that THIS post speaks to you and that HE speaks to you through it --
There is one reading this - today with disappointed expectations and or with expectations that have been shattered...broken...and she does not even expect a healing....but HOLD ON.... God will answer.
HE is close to the broken hearted and HE will and can heal -- seek HIM.
EXPECT HIM to answer -- EXPECT HIM to help...