Sunday, April 24, 2016

Insecurity --

 So, I am monitoring a group on Facebook and we are doing a book study called, So Long Insecurity, You have been a very bad friend to me by Beth Moore.

Just saying the word Insecurity brings forth Insecurity.
The definition in the dictionary is simply: insecurity = not secure.

So, just let me know what transpired -- just YESTERDAY....

  I went to the Simulcast yesterday and walked in with no one really 'at my side'. I did not say I was going to meet anyone there, but I sort of felt someone would say, 
 "hey Michelle, sit next to me". 
 No one did.
 In fact, I saw two 'single' ladies walk in and their girlfriends WAVED them down to come and join them. 

 No one waived me down. 

But honestly -- I do like sitting by myself at times...then I can cry and not explain myself,  or I can just people watch and slip out the back door if I am in an uncomfortable situation or  if I don't want to stay.   

As the Simulcast began and I began to see more 'groups' join the sanctuary...the enemy started. 

 "You are not the best friend type"
 "See, no one wanted to sit with you". 

 Therefore, I took out my journal and began to write like I KNEW something no one else did --- and I began to write down the lies the enemy was speaking to me and then I would write back:

 "I am a child of the most high God and I want to sit by myself to focus on hearing from YOU Lord"

"Satan, I don't need a pal to sit next too -- I am secure in Christ"

Then I looked around again at the groups of women sitting and chatting and actually the two women that were at the end of my row, got up and moved.  So I sat there totally by myself in a row of 12.   At that point - I laughed out loud to my self.  And continue to write...   

"really Lord?" 

.....and you know what, after 3-4 minutes of writing a letter to myself and God.. a dear sister in Christ sat right down next to me and said:

 "hey, I thought that was you Michelle...Perfect!"

 About 20 minutes later, her 'best buddy" came and sat down by the two of us.   I moved over and we were a group of three.  

So, I grabbed my journal and wrote:   

"Thank you Lord,  you brought forth Stella, so there Satan - ha ha". 

 And I began to sing as it was praise and Worship time. 

So anyway..... later in the a break time... God sweetened my plea.

You see, I believe, yes, I  believe God  REWARDED me because I FOUGHT the lies with the truth...even though it felt a little lonely and weird.... 

We were to share something with the ones sitting next to us in obedience as Pricilla Shirer asked to to complete a task and and I did, but also.....

That sweet sister, looked at her two pals  - one at her left  (me) and  one at her right ( her true BFF) and reminded us both...that it was at a bible study I did -- back in my classroom back in 2009...where she was saved.

I had invited her BFF...Lori as she was a sweet friend of mine and she invited her.  

 It was at a bible study that I did ... just cause I needed to FILL up time and knew somewhere I was to do something for God ..... but my LIFE at that moment -- was hell.... it sucked. 

 I was married..but I did not have a marriage.... it was crumbling and my thoughts were that I should do a bible study and God would reward me. funny me.....

I did it out of obligation -- wanting to GET something back from God -- some insight into my crumbling marriage.  

God wastes NOTHING.  
I don't know Beth Personally -- but if I did, I know she would LAUGH at this photo and OK it's publishing....   as she is a public figure and she would say, "if it will help one person get over their insecurity- go ahead and publish the thang". 

Anyway -- she did receive Christ while I facilitated that Bible Study and she hugged me many a times as I taught with her those last few years at CENTRAL.... and now -- Look where we are. 

She is a sister in Christ that is being Jesus's hands and feet in her church and she has done much in the past 6 years!!    

More than many accomplish in a lifetime!  

"So there Satan -- what you thought would BRING me down and 'hurt'...did not and God turned it around - totally - a 360." 

So lesson on insecurity:  

THAT is how deliberate we must be in this war we are in.  
We must constantly override the lies with HIS truth... period. 
 And even when we 'seem' to have it together -- we don't. 

Insecurity has roots in fear, jealousy, and hurt --   God has to be the one we hold all 'truth' to ..over 8000+ promises in the bible and we choose to believe Satan's lies.  

I believe we are in this this time in God's Kingdom calendar because HE has equipped us to do something...

It is called OBEY God's word. 
It is...   believe in HIS Word.  

It is to READ HIS Word....   God is calling us - every moment -- are you secure in WHAT you are suppose to be doing for Him or are you consumed within yourself and feeling pity cause you are sitting with NO friends at an event?  

Sorry -- I did not mean that literally -- but, I believe YOU are getting the point.  

We have to be secure IN HIM... We need that . 
We were created to CRAVE that.   HiS security.  

I highly suggest Beth Moore's book -- highly.  
We just started the book/bible study.  It is NOT to late to join us.  
Just message me.  But do it today!  

- humbled...just a humble, simple lamb ....seeking Him, being His...   doing what He has called me to do - amen.  

- Michelle 

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