Prayer #40 -- Brutely Honest

I have pondered and asked God exactly how to end this season of prayers.  Monday was Day #40 and yet, I just could not bring myself to get this typed up and posted.  I have felt the Lord, leading me one way and then I felt He was moving me another. 

In the past week, there has been  a mother believing for a miracle for her son --

Just 24 hours ago a mother was seeking a medical miracle for her daughter 30,000 feet above the Earth  as she was traveling home--that was my sister as my niece was in respiratory distress and needed to spend some time in the PICU with oxygen and fluids-- 

There is a wife, that was the beginning inspiration for this blog series, she  has prayed with me for a movement of God and yet it seems nothing has changed within her home --

And there is another wife whose  husband told her earlier this week that he was moving out, he would provide for the children but he was having an affair and was moving out, leaving her --

And last night, as I was trying to pray for and comfort a young mother in desperate pain she mentioned something -- "all my praying and all my reading has brought forth nothing".......

This haunted me all day - our prayers are for everything.   But, I admit -- at times, I am looking for WHAT I see instead of trusting the faith within. 

And this evening I read a blog by Ann Voskamp and she says:  

What if:  God's purposes are not so much for me to understand His plans: His plan is for me to understand Who He is.  And He is my Peace. 

What if:  Prayer isn't about getting what you desperately want, but about getting more of the One Who desperately wants you.  

What if: You discover Jesus is really enough -- when you discover Jesus is really ALL you have left.  


Her  blog spoke volumes to me.  I do believe and know that God has been walking me through these 40 days.  As I have prayed  and blogged, these prayers and words of wisdom have been for others and also for myself.   And as I finish this series -- I did believe that a MAJOR circumstance change would occur within this one family -- nothing has noticeably changed on the outside, but I know that I know -- there has been change on the inside.  She has chosen to continue and fight through Jesus and be a warrior in a heartbreaking marriage -- but she is listening to God and being obedient.  That is indeed -- answered prayer.  

Sometimes God    allows what     He     can hardly       stand -- to    accomplish     more than we understand.  

Sometimes God allows -- I know this and understand it as best as I can, but I never truly felt that what He allows....brings Him sadness as well.  I mean, I know God is God -- but it gives me comfort to believe that He did not want to allow the hurt.... this season....or  the roller coaster we can't get off of.  

As I finish this prayer series -- whether the outcome came or not -- God won --- for 40 days, there was a bigger focus on Hearing from Him and being obedient.  For 40 days, healing was declared and faith to believe that indeed --- much fruit will come because of our faithfulness and steadfast obedience.  

Lord, for my sweet sister in Christ - hold her.  Bless her.  Lord, for these blogs -- use them for YOUR Kingdom come...  

 

 I am humbled Lord and indeed in AWE of Your Majesty!  
- Michelle