Prayers for one in Crisis -- #29 -- Guarding your Time

Guarding time to be with your spouse is so important.  When we were going through some major therapy and counsel, Dr. Connie  asked us ...'what do you both like to do for fun?'.    We answered and yet, that really did not change much.

We enjoyed some common activities but that seemed to be the 'same old stuff'.  She encouraged us to figure out something new.   So -----Harley motorcycle -- here we come.    The thrill of  try something new.  The thrill of doing it together.  And then each of us had to learn and then pass our cycle test -- and get it endorsed on our driver's license.  That was the start of some ...new fun.


And I thought about HOW the enemy continues to distract and steal away.    The enemy is consistent in trying to destroy and when a woman or sister in Christ  is in a crisis...reliving old memories hurt and can bring shame and condemnation.

 But, I  write this blog with the focus on guarding your time ---having that time with a loved one - your husband is good --- in my story -- my husband became my idol so long ago and my time with God was edged out. 

I truly believe that if you are guarding your time with God...having your quiet time with him, even if it is only for 10 minutes a day --  that you are already AHEAD of the game...by 200%!   Guarding and setting aside time to sit with God...listen to God...sing with God... and reading His Love Letter....is so vital and important.

If that does not 'seem' easy -- pray about HIM carving out the time for it.  HE will.  He wants Your attention.   Pray to crave HIS Word.  Pray to WANT to read His Word.

Please do it now and believe He will....I pray it won't take a major crisis or hurt to make you grow up with the Lord.  Please don't be me.....

I remember walking back to my hotel room after a Living Proof Live Event  ( Almost 20 years ago) with two dear women and stating out loud to myself and to them..."I want to have that LOVE of God's Word like Beth does".  And I could hardly sleep and wanted to grow deeper with God.  And I started too -- and I did a bit -- but, then as I written before  -- I allowed the business of this world, the lies of Satan, and my own 'success' detour me and dictate my actions.  And, I allowed my own 'religious self-righteousness' to take over and the enemy used that spirit of religion to distract me -- and keep me in a stronghold.

Do I think my life would of been different if I would of been spiritually mature at that point? -- YES.  But I was not.

However, as a sweet  dear friend  and I were chatting on Sunday, the Holy Spirit spoke and reminded me -- God knew.

And so I declared: "if it was OK for God to know and allow....then why would I question or even feel shame and regret for what I did not see and know back then..."       WOW!  Such liberty in that revelation.

"IF it was OK for God to allow me those 38 years of being a former idiot...cause HE knew that by the time I was 44...I would TRULY get it...  then it is good for me too! ".

If it is good enough for God -- then it is good enough for me!  

Again...  God knew and heard my prayer back in 1998...  God knew the potential...God allowed  the years of my wandering in the desert...God allowed the hurt....and God has walked us through the repentance, the redemption and the restoration.....So I won't look back and say, "if I had only known..."


I tease often -- "it was easier being single".  I was "single" for 6 months.  I did not have to make the bed, did not have to worry about supper -- and there is freedom in that.  However, after I tease about that -- I remember almost every night in bed alone and in tears...hugging my bible and asking God to relieve the pain.  

Now, I know there are many hurting women out there - waiting on a man -- but I pray it is only waiting on that someone to do life with and ministry with - as Jesus has to be OUR MAIN man.  But...as I say that - I realize there are many out there -- waiting on their husband  to return home for one reason or another ....hang in there -- allow God to fill that void.



So with that -- I pray --


Lord, I got a bit personal again -- but, I believe that being real on this blog and being transparent before You and others is something you have called me to do.  For some reason Lord, I can write and tell ....and it helps.  Lord, You have seen the couples we are praying for and You have heard our cries -- as there are many hurting -- but today Lord, I pray that the wives of these men are guarding their time with You and I pray their hearts are being open to WHAT you wish to communicate to them as wives...mothers...and daughters of  YOU.  Lord, for their men -- who are being selfish, arrogant, disobedient, and immoral...God -- give them the peace that YOU are working within their hearts.  

HOLD these women, or give them the peace to move forward.  You know Lord, that  I want families whole and reunited...but in all of that -- it is them  -- they -- those that will stand before YOU one on one and each will be held accountable.  Lord for the ones you have placed on my heart and asked me to stand in the gap for.......Lord, I stand.  

Lord, for my own husband...   I pray that as he continues to seek you, read your word, and listen to You -- it will just blossom and grow and overflow into our lives...our marriage, and into our fun.  Lord, for his eyes -- may they always watch for You.  Lord, for his ears, that they only hear You.  Lord, for his steps...that they  stay on that path towards You.  I take nothing for granted Lord, it was You who opened the eyes...You who brought beauty out of ashes...  it was You Lord in strengthening my heart...and You who gets the glory.  

Lord, I want that for the many around me and the ones that read this that do not even know of me.  I WANT that for all of Your children... for my parents...for my siblings and their spouses...for my children and their spouses... God I want that -- use me Lord, but don't allow me to self-destruct in the meantime... God I don't want my work for you to overtake -- and I forget WHAT is right in front of me.  

Lord, thank you for the blessing of my sisters in Christ  and how You use them  to inspire these blogs,  used them to teach me many of your concepts over the years, and how You use them to give me affirmation ---the affirmation I needed to hear from YOU -- in YOUR perfect timing, at the perfect time and for the perfect reason.  To show and remind me -- that ALL this time -- YOU have held me.  So therefore, I can share that with another troubled whose faith  is weak -- nothing is wasted Lord. 
 

Lord, I am humbled.  Period.  Lord, I am humbled...... humbled....  humbled...and grateful.  


Lord, for the one who thinks I hate her today -- God, orchestrate our lives and soften the heart -- as I don't, but show me what I can change and do -- so this NEVER happens again.  Lord, for the one who has taught me a whole new side of forgiveness... 

Lord, specifically for the one who is healed of cancer -- I believe YOU will use her and her husband to speak of YOUR faithfulness..to speak of your gifts...and to speak of the power of marriage...and the power of prayer of a husband over a wife....

And Lord for the ones who think they are 'cool'...and on the right path cause they showed up.  Or Lord for the new ones like me that thought -- they were 'perfect' in  your eyes... as they walk out this wilderness -- give me the patience to wait on YOU -- and not judge or want to SMACK them... 

Lord, for the future of these blogs.....  show me how and when to write - that it is not a time waster nor does it become an idol.  I am sick of idols.  Lord -- You are first.  Bren is 2nd...  my kids are 3rd and the ministry you have given me is 4th...and I know that -- help me to keep it all in perspective.  Lord, empty me of me......fill me with You -- 

But before I finish - I pray for THAT one who has inspired this series of 40 days of prayers for a sister in Christ in crisis --   Lord, sustain her today.  Hold her -- as much has happened and yet there is MUCH to come -- In Jesus name.  
amen.