However, for these past three days - God has given me a special 'mini-' week with my brother and husband and we have been RIDING Harley bikes - over 900+ miles in 3 days...
But I have been a praying. Lots. Tears too. There is a present ACHE in my heart and gut this morning for a family that is not THAT close to us - but yet, very close.
Yesterday I was 'hit' with the news of a couple that are separating. It is a small town. Very small. Hash tag --- GEEZE it is a small town where everyone seems to know each other's business.
I know God has commissioned me to be in 40 days of prayer for HIS institution of Marriage.... and as this post came together in my head-- with the Holy Spirit penning it -- I thought about all the attacks on Marriage these past few days -- the Phil Robertson stuff, there is a loved one within my own family that won't be at Christmas this year because she does not want to be with family that won't 'accept' her, and within one of the three families that I have been calling out to God to intervene -- there has been new turmoil as well. The news of this other couple was a shock.
It is such a small town. Bren and I spoke quite frankly yesterday about WHAT people probably said or thought when they heard the rumor about us. And then when or if it was ever confirmed - what did they think? We laughed a bit, cause I would get women coming to me and wanting info - and he had men come to him as well...but, Thank God - HE had me sort of 'hushed'. And well, Bren was already hushed - he has been quiet for so long - why would he begin to 'tell' now....?
We DID laugh about that - really, praise God we can laugh now.
We also talked about a LOT of feelings and emotions and stuff and within the hurt of that - there was healing. ( that can be another blog )
But, as I said, people probably formed opinions and I am pretty sure that many 'chose' sides between the two of us. It is natural -- those closest to me, probably saw what I did and how I was and probably wanted to 'kick his ass'...Being honest and transparent - but truthful here.
I wanted to do the same for a time. ( butt kicking ) And I know there were men and women that approached him and tried to get 'dirt' on me....to justify how something could separate us. It is just natural -- as humans we want answers to justify and to explain.
We were never really close to any couples -- just a few and I am so sure they had their own situations - "how do I speak to her and not to him?" ...or "how can we help both of them? ". I know instantly within the first few weeks of our separation, the enemy began to play SUCH tricks on my mind where I would not even want to be out in public for fear that I may see him speaking or talking to one of 'my friends' and I just knew he was going to betray me even more......
And I know there had to be people that wanted to just TELL us a thing or two - but, God kept them away.
God did have the RIGHT people all set in place and new people HE would bring into our healing -- that prayed and helped and encouraged. Looking back now, both Brendan and I want to be those people to other couples when God commissions it.
Not to dwell on the Phil Robertson thing...but sin is sin. 'We' put levels on it. I have blogged about this before and stated...my 'idolatry' ..... my 'arrogant pride'.... my 'lust'....and my own SIN was JUST as sinful in God's eye's as my husband's betrayal and infidelity. And sexual sin - sex outside of marriage...and sex with another man's wife...is sin...and sex with my brother is sin...sex with another woman is sin...sex with an animal is sin.....sex with myself - using things to manipulate and get me excited is sin...
Why wouldn't the enemy use sex to steal, kill, and destroy ....it states that in the bible.
Jesus said, 'go and sin no more'.
But -- this post is not for those opinions or a debate on sexual choices -- back to marriages.....
One of the greatest lessons I have learned is that God can't be explained and I don't have to try and justify HIS actions -- I have to trust HIM.
I trust God today -- I trust that GOD is big enough to have the RIGHT people around that family right now and minister to both her and him and their children.
I trust God is big enough that he is speaking to both parties involved.
I trust God enough to pray earnestly for them and claim -- with God this family can be restored. But I also trust God enough to know that....if this family does not reunite - and the marriage does dissolve...HE can still bring beauty out of the ashes and redeem her ...redeem him....and restore their children -- it will take time.
And I trust that God is holding their hearts -- if they SEEK Him. In the meantime, I will continue to pray.
Today's prayer is a short one - I've elaborated enough -- but one week after my 'earthquake' shattered our home, I got a prayer from one of those people GOD spoke to -- to be a part of our healing. And she sent me that prayer via Facebook - so I do have a soft spot for Facebook - it can be used of HIS glory -- but....
I want to share that prayer - as it is taped in my bible and I go to it often - as an Ebenezer stone - it is something that I remember -- and it is perfect for today. I will leave our names in it -- but our names can be replaced with YOUR names...if this prayer suits you today.
Or if you are the couple that separated .....or if you know them - maybe this will give you the courage to speak into their lives... I am humbled God that YOU can make a way and I trust you - Michelle
This prayer became life words....prophetic -- HE has put a new love between us. What the enemy tried to destroy - God fixed. God won. Our marriage was raised from the DEAD......it was hard work - but good work. I DO want that for every marriage -- HE can restore - anything......God I pray THAT couple will SEEK Him!