Expecting #38 -- Being REAL and RAW

Good morning...  God morning.
I awoke today -- with a heavy heart.
As you will notice, there are 3 ...yes,  3...posts for today.

As I prayed and spoke to God, I got a text and the HS spoke.
And then I opened FB for a moment and Christine Caine's testimony/blog was the first entry I say and I knew it was time to read it.    ( I reposted it Expecting #38...#2 )  And then I opened email and BAM....  God gave me Beth Moore's resent email .... on being clear with God.  ( I reposted that one too - Expecting #38...#1  ).

I have not done this before - I realize that many of you reading this have NO time to spend 30 minutes at the computer reading one blog...much less two...but I encourage you to read these 3 today in this order.

I ask you -- are you like me today -- with a heavy heart?
Are there questions that you want to voice but are unsure as to WHAT God will answer?
Are there thoughts that continue to nag at you and you know that you know...it is your flesh...but you still want some justification?

Are you wondering?

Ok, so after I read both blogs, prayed, and sought God...here -- I am being RAW and REAL.

God... my heart is heavy -- there is a loved one that needs your touch and she needs some clarity right away.  You know Lord, I want to tell her to give up...and just quit with the relationship, she DOES deserve better.    God...my heart is heavy for another, she believes she is being stalked and bullied and from my perspective she is...and it has to stop.... I need YOU Lord to ride in and MAKE it right.  God, for this one and that one.... their marriage....God...are they really seeking you?    God...for this one and that one....that marriage looks as dead as a doorknob...can you still restore it?  God...free will sucks...I want that one to be SO miserable -- SO in pain that he seeks you --  will he?  I want to be a tattle tell  on him....I have 'proof' ....but yet, I can't use it...God...for that other one...  and this couple, and this couple and that one...does she really believe she can sit in her lies and believe THAT is Your will?  God... I need to you move within this life...You need to fix this..... and while I am just being real and raw...my own heart is still repairing a wound.  And I know that I know, YOu have equipped me and that I must leave it be....but it hurt - all that I poured in......and yet, really?  Really?  Lord, I know that 95% of that is my flesh...and I allowed my head and heart to 'go there'...so now I will recapture my thoughts...but I want an apology - there I said it  - I do....

There, there is MORE that is heavy on my heart - as one may see the death of something today - so that she can see LIFE in another....and that is REAL and RAW and it hurts....it does not worry me...but it worries me for them...I mean...I WANT this for them so badly --  only YOU Lord, can make sense of this blog today -- and in YOUR perfect will .....and way....You have!

Lord, I will trust in YOU at all times.
Lord, I will trust in YOU at all times.
When it seems like YOU are not working...BAM...it happens...the mountain is moved or YOU change something that one NEVER would of dreamed of.
Lord, I will trust in YOU at all times, O people,  pour out your heart before Him.  
Lord...I am doing this today -- pouring.  
Lord, I know I am being tested...as these 40 days are coming to a close and my BB is being tested in a mighty way today --  God I pray, we will stand together and POUR ourselves into YOU!  As God - YOU are the refuge for us.... YOU are the one that will fix it and make it whole....
We will be filled with the Holy Spirit...we will rely ON YOU...and we will believe that the breakthrough is right around the corner.  
God, for my dear loved one .....may she hear from you today and get that clarity needed to move on and move forward.... God...may she dig into YOUR word today and believe that no matter what -- SHE will rise above this and the one hurting her right now...will REGRET it .... tremendously and he will live the rest of this days....unless he repents and seeks you for restoration...he will live the rest of his days knowing, he messed up.  God I don't want him left behind -- but I trust YOU to draw him in as well.  God I do NOT want to see another marriage fail.....I don't understand it Lord, but I will trust YOU.  

Lord, so the rest of the day -- I will be filled with Your Spirit and I know that I know  - You will bring clarity and you will heal....and my being RAW will help another become REAL before You.  In Jesus name, Amen.

Ps...if that door closes.... HE has much more - 
Ps ...if that marriage ends .... HE has something even bigger beyond this - 
Ps ...HE has to be it all.....the everything.....the 'thing'...and when we are willing to lay it down -- then the Holy Spirit can continue His work within us and God can move......God has to be it and all.  
Amen.