Expecting #39 - FEAR

Celebrating our 27th Anniversary in the Keys! 

FEAR .....there may be a smile on my face, but this is AFTER I had a 'come to Jesus' meeting with my Heavenly Father....  Let me explain.

Fear -- the  Holy Spirit spoke quickly to me yesterday and I knew that today's post was to be about fear.  As I prayed and spoke to God this am....HE gave me many illustrations and memories of some very fearful times.

...like when I was in the hospital in Wisconsin, awaiting to see if my uncle would live - he had a heart attack outside the hall where my Grandparents were celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary --
...like when I was in the barn and heard my mom scream - a blood curdling scream, as my 2 year old brother was caught under the manure spreader tires --
....like when I was holding down a 25x 18  foot metal door of a barn with my mom  as a tornado busted open and went through our farm -
...like when I was on the receiving end of a ti-raid by another and stuff went flying over my head --
....like when I awoke on the couch and remembered I had a baby ...that was crawling around our apartment and I had fallen asleep and 'forgot' about her --
...like when I sat in a waiting room as HP was being operated on to remove a lump in his throat --
...like when I was alone, in my room, in my bed,   and my entire 'world' as I saw it was destroyed and I knew that 'stuff' would never be the same -

more recently......like when I participated in an ACTIVE Shooter DRILL at my school and I was in the middle of the fire and even though it was a drill -- I felt and believed my life was going to end --

....and yesterday -- when my husband and I were in the kayak. and we had paddled out about 50 yards from  where we started,  and as we got closer to this area, he told me that he had to turn the kayak because he felt it was too tippy....as the waves of another boat were  heading for us and he was unsure how the kayak would handle it --
...  so we faced the waves coming in -- as we sat there for what seemed like HOURS....as we bobbled up and down and I prayed and prayed  and that FEAR grabbed me and I had to physically MAKE myself ...calm down.

 ---- It did not matter how I got there - I wanted to be SAFE on land within seconds.


I was fearful.  I was totally in the hands of my husband -- and his experience as a kid - growing up on the river and canoeing many times. I had been able to see the bottom of this water, but he reminded me that I may be seeing some 10-15  feet down, as he lowered his paddle into the water, he could not touch the bottom.
Mind you - I HAD mY life jacket on - but as I told him, it probably would not matter - I knew I was about to panic --  that FEAR had gripped me so.

Brendan quickly reminded me to stay calm and to trust him.  How could I do that?
I was calling on the name of Jesus.
Brendan waited for the waves to settle and then he turned the kayak around.
I continued to remind God I did not want to die.
Brendan then guided us  back and we paddled or kayak'd back towards 'home' and shallow water and I thanked God.

And I sat there -- it was for a brief moment where I had NO control.
The bottom line was just that -- I had NO control.
THAT was the fear.

I did some research on that famous FB photo or image about the fact that it says, "do no fear" 365 x in the bible  -- so once each day, we can be reminded that God says, do not fear.  However, that is NOT true.  It is only there 119x , some versions 80x.  If you add in a few other words like 'don't fear' and 'don't be afraid'...you can find it another 30x...  point being --

God said it once, "do not fear"...so that ONE time should be enough right?   Right.
Wrong.

No...Right!

Being fearful is NOT from God.  Fear comes from our lack of control...where we can't manipulate and fix stuff....so we become fearful and the enemy capitalizes on that.

Isaiah 41:10The Message (MSG)

^8-10 “But you, Israel, are my servant.
    You’re Jacob, my first choice,
    descendants of my good friend Abraham.
I pulled you in from all over the world,
    called you in from every dark corner of the earth,
Telling you, ‘You’re my servant, serving on my side.
    I’ve picked you. I haven’t dropped you.’
Don’t panic. I’m with you.
    There’s no need to fear for I’m your God.
I’ll give you strength. I’ll help you.
    I’ll hold you steady, keep a firm grip on you.

Being fearful is NOT from God.   I like the MSG version of this scripture - cause today, the DO NOT PANIC fits me perfectly.

But I did panic...for ...um....  30 seconds.
I had to rely on the man God gave me -- he reminded me that I would be Ok.  But his words did not bring me instant comfort.  I had to 'walk it out' myself.  I had to just stay focused on telling myself, I was going to be ok.


I don't mean to make light of this topic.  I am not.  I did not have control yesterday and I was fearful.
Today when I was asked if I wanted to go in the kayak again - I said, "no".  Today the water if very choppy and it is windy outside.....and I won't put myself in that spot again...I have control.


Today a mom is very fearful, she is worried that a man is going to do whatever he can to take away her son and prove that she is unfit.
Today a young woman is very fearful, she is far away from her family and has some tough decisions to make about her future and she wants answers - she does not want to be wrong.
Today a woman is struggling with the fact that she has the authority and power within her - because she is a daughter of the most high king...and yet..she has to rely on a pill to make her feel better.
Today another sister in Christ is wanting to be the best sister in Christ to others...but she needs to allow that control to be HIS control.  She won't give it up.
Today another sister in Christ is hurting so much, she does not believe she can make it one more day - the hurt from a loss is just too great and she just wants to head to heaven early.

Fear -- the verse says, that HE will hold you - with the firm grip of HIS right hand.
Walking out or LIVING with that head knowledge and not believing it...is the true test...is the 'walking on the water'....

Believing that no matter what - GOD's promises will not fail you -- that is living BEYOND the fear!
That is freedom.


I found this by Joyce Meyer:

Fear's Evil Scheme

“ God wants us to walk by faith, and Satan wants us to walk by fear. ”

Fear is a tool the devil uses against us to make us miserable and destroy our lives. It begins as a thought and then creates emotions that can rule us. It often becomes a strong, intense feeling that tries to move us to make a foolish action or tries to prevent us from doing something that would be good for us. Because it's such a common way that Satan attacks people's lives, I think of it as the master spirit he uses to manipulate people and keep them out of God's will.

Simply put, fear is the opposite of faith. God wants us to walk by faith, and Satan wants us to walk by fear. When we learn to live by faith and not let fear rule our life, we can live a fulfilling, satisfying, peaceful and joyful life in Christ.

Like I said before, fear begins with a thought. Proverbs 23:7 tells us that "as [a man] thinks in his heart, so is he" (NKJV). I like to say it like this: Where the mind goes, the man follows.

I had to have faith in my husband yesterday and I reminded my self over and over....he grew up on the water  -- I will trust him.   I also had to sit and wait on the waves to clear.  And then, I had to work with my husband and paddle back 'home'.  

The photo was taken as we were heading back in and close to 'home'.   When I got closer to the shallow water - my fear was totally calmed.  

Fear - my lack of control was real. 

Fear  - is also thoughts.... my thoughts as a child, my mom was fearful of the water and that transferred to me.   When she realized this, she got us swimming lessons to help with our fear - but it only intensified my fear,  as my instructor basically called me a baby and did not teach me -- I was 12. 

Thoughts....  When my kids were little, I placed them  with people that COULD swim, so that I knew the fear I had would not fall on them... they can swim. I can doggie paddle - in CLEAR, clean water. LOL.  My point is ....thoughts... fear begins with thoughts.  

We battle those thoughts with our SWORDS...HIS word.  

Isaiah 41:10New International Version (NIV)

¹⁰ So do not fear, for I am with you;    do not be dismayed, for I am your God.I will strengthen you and help you;    I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

This graphic...is true -- it lists the 80 places where God does say -- do not fear!!   Amen.